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black box

opened at night
in a
silent
curtained
  room

I feel blindly
around five inner surfaces

and I touch

seeking
  fingertips


Author notes

"To him who is in fear everything rustles"
Sophocles, 'Acrisius'.

A contest entry

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • jamiedoring gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    damn........ I was all ticked because I didnt make it in this contest before it closed and as I read the entries I dont feel so bad....

    yours made my 20 measly little words seem kinda like.....hmmmmm.....20 measly little words. Fantastic!


  • Dalaney gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply

  • Amera gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Perfect imagery with the emotion of fear and unknowing all in twenty words. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera♥

  • Paula Pears
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    So mysterious, intruiging and right.
    I love it.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    Twenty seems so much larger a number for you than for me!
    are you sure there aren't any smoke and mirrors involved here?
    Not bad in fact


  • blondone
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    Intriguing, fearful, just a couple of the emotions that were opened for me as I read, full of grandstand imagery deep and powerful these words were written... I want to write like this


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    You've interpreted the prompt to perfection, I love the thought of fear and detection mingling

    All the best...Sue


  • DLC-Jem
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    This has a 'Pandora' feel to it which sets the nerves tingling. The Beans
    Bunny Bunny Bunny

    xxx Jem

  • Bad Bill
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    Kind of eerie, although I don't really have a clue what this one's about (OK, I'm dense).

    Bill


  • TN.Joe
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    Isn't it amazing how 20 little words turn out so good?
    Nice job.
    Joe

1 - 16 of 16