Penetrate
with the dirt of judgment
under fingernails,
and wake the conscience
I thought I finally belonged,
but now,
I see only
a tiny thrush
obliviously singing
trying to keep up
with a flock of geese
Author notes
I did mine on people's reflections on me and my own self reflection
A contest entry
- Reflections by Folklor.
461 points, ended May 29, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was just amazing..
I really liked this, the metaphors you used were really amazing.. You are a very talented poet and with this write it really shows..
Best of luck here..
Angel
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You have some cool metaphors in this write. It is short and to the point. I, too, like your analogy of the geese.
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wow!
you see your self-reflection as a tiny bird.
How cool!
I like the way you describe yourself as behind a 'flock of geese'
I think this is a very original thought.
well done!
this was impressive -
Very strong ending... the last 5 lines are my favorite to... you had some excellent immagery here, a very deep piece with lots of hidden meanings. Good luck in the contest.
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I saw
only a tiny thrush
obliviously singing
trying to keep up with a flock of geese
I love the above part. The whole piece is stunningly-good, but that part caught my eye. Well done.
Keep writing.
Love
Wayne Leon
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Good, good 'dirt of judgement' great stuff, I had to read it twice to understand it though, I got confused about the rage, but this is definatly a great beginning.
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