The fire illuminates bodies so tanned,
reflects off the beach and makes waves of the sand.
The music is joyous and drowns in the laughter,
School is now over but no thought to what's after.
We swim in the night but don't touch the ocean,
our hearts are on prowl for love's passing potion.
Fire-lit eyes will meet casually and they dance
they skip like our hearts, only stealing a glance.
Our romance is hot in the balmy party night,
our lips do not speak, our voices, too tight,
and you follow me here, hiding under the jetty,
I reach for your hand, to touch, and you let me.
I'll remember this night 'til the day that I die.
Your kisses on me, I didn't stop to ask why,
and tomorrow life dawns it's bright new sun-light,
and I will remember, all we had was tonight.
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 1 Summertime - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
8000 points, ended May 16, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - holidays/vacations contest by tony yates.
700 points, ended February 4, 2009, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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superb
i enjoyed this, well done and thanks -
Thank you for your entry in our contest Summertime. This was an excellent read and bought back memories of beach parties and youth.
Please join us in our future contests. We look forward to reading more from you...Sue and Jeff
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This has a nice flow and rhyme. The poem evoked memories of warm summer nights at the seaside, the moon full and so was my heart.
Very nice. ~ Joyce
PS. The last two lines of the second stanza doesn't flow as well as the rest of the poem.
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Very nice flow to this, the rhyme and rhythm did not feel forced at all. It takes me back to all-night parties on the beach we had in my high school days, though none of them were quite as romantic as this - still, I have several that I treasure! Thanks for the memories and good luck in your contest.
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damn good
Well done, well put togeather, nice flow. Good Job and keep writeing. -
Rich
Blesses the reader with the recollection of memories of their own, and brings to mind the fantasies we've all had. -
Wonderful flow in this poem!
YOu just carried us all away on that hot balmy night!
Well written, and smartly done!
We could hear your feminine voice shine through!
well done poetess, really well done!
ears/Seattle BRAVO! BRAVO!
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Fantastic!
wow. this is awesome Vampstress, I always want to write stuff like this buti guess im not advance enough yet.
this poem has got serious rhythm and flow. i love it.
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The flow and rhyme is dea don this work is so perfect for the contest. I wish you the best of luck. This was an absolute pleasure to read.
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