Painted pictures of deception
neon wrapped and advertised
mask beneath the glam and glitter,
hidden deep within the soul,
haunting songs on misty melodies
seeking instruments to play.
“Mislead not thyself my children,
thinking time is on your side.
Celebrate the smallest victories,
love intensely all the while.
Be not guilty of misleading,
painting pictures to deceive.”
A contest entry
- Woman in a motel by AJ Morelli.
2000 points, ended May 27, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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hidden deep within the soul,
haunting songs on misty melodies
seeking instruments to play.
I liked those lines Well done
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thank you for such a lovely entry, my favorite line:
"Celebrate the smallest victories"
that is some wonderful advice...
al
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Hm, an interesting take on the prompt, though I am uncertain if I understand entirely how it ties into it. Just goes to show that we poets really do have differing perspectives, doesn't it?
Good luck.
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thanks for your comments
It was a response to the feeling I got from reading the poem, kind of the antithesis to the dismal overall tone, I tried to put a positive note. Its quirky, agreed, but pleasantly so.
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What a lead-in---
the first two lines--
perfection.
Promise fulfilled
as the story continues.
Superb.
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You know what strikes me here? It's the rhythm of the piece...the majority of the stanzas flow so well, it's almost as if they rhyme.
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thanks....I agree
there is something about the flow of the piece that strikes you almost after the fact, couldn't pinpoint it but decided to leave it alone
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The motel as a metaphor for a kind of desert mirage and the misty siren call music of solitude as the illusion. This has a very moody feel to it. Anyone who has had the (mis)fortune to stay in one of these old motor-motels can I'm sure relate.
Nice job Patsy. Be proud.
Paul
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well thank you darlin
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