You've left me to rot in the dark, Baby,
and I don't know what to do in this silence.
The moon casts its shadow on my prone form
screams echoing through my head,
and darling, I fear I'm drowning
in this nothingness.
I was taken in by the idea of loving you,
fell in love with holding hands
and all the insanity that ensued
when I was around you.
So I'm stuck here wondering if you still love me,
if we'll have our happily ever after.
Beautiful sorrow, desolate demands,
Baby, just hug me tighter
make me forget everything else,
the good, the bad, the rain and the rainbows.
If only your 'I love yous' were as sincere
as your passionate embraces,
then maybe my mind would be set at ease
and I wouldn't fall to my mother's and father's pleas.
Peanut butter kisses and warm beer
they scream love and lust at an all too equal rate.
The nights warm, and there's a murderer on the loose
hoping to kill off all that's left good in the world.
Darling, I don't care though,
I haven't cared about anything since you stole my heart.
Author notes
Danneh used these options
6. title
5. Allllll the words
7. Sad poems
4. Love. Stress. Seperation.
A contest entry
- Holding Your Hand [♥] ....Options! by Breathless Ballons.
375 points, ended June 13, 2008, 48 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be harsh, be specific.
Comments
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OHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!!!!!
I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THIS!!!!
This was sooo good and you used soo many of the optinos and ALL the words, boy, I am IMPRESSED!
Really, a truly great job!
"Peanut butter kisses and warm beer
they scream love and lust at an all too equal rate."
Thats my favorite part!!
I loved it sooooooooooooooooooooo much, its unexplainable!!
thank you SO ( times a thousand ) for entering! And good luck, as if you need it!
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LoLoL, it's not only my contest you choose practically all the options to utilize!!
"I was taken in by the idea"
Vulnerability expressed so honestly...
"Beautiful sorrow, desolate demands,"
Great line.
Suggestions:
"it's shadow"-It's should be ITS.
It's=it is
Remember that!!
"mothers and father's pleas."-should be mother's...missing an apostrophe.
I notice you use 'Baby' and 'darling' a LOT in your poems--it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's also not a necessary thing. Just something to think about... -
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Mhmm, it's my newest.. Play toy?
-sniffles- I was told my poems were too aloof and impersonal a bit back, and then I started with the snarkiness, and came to using the pet names. I don't use them all the time., but I do realize one of these days, I will need to step away from my toy =(
The reason I use so many options, is I read through them all, if I manage it, I put it. ^^ I llloove a challenge.
Alright, fixing the grammar. >>' I should be better at that, seeing as I'm going into AP English next year.
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Just because someone tells you your poems were aloof and impersonal doesn't mean they're right...I mean, poetry is all about perception right? Aloofness could easily have been your modus operandi in poetry if you wanted it to be, LoL.
And lots of people make up the its/It's mistakes (or they know the difference but simply do not care), so it's all good.. I'll always be here to tell you when you're wrong in technical things...and you'll always be here to write cool poems. 
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