It was just another day,
Like many gone before;
But little did I know,
Open was heaven's door.
God sent perfection,
Down from up above;
Knowing good and well,
That we would fall in love.
The chances we would meet,
They were very rare;
But God had made sure,
That moment we would share.
And although we have tried,
To do things our own way;
What we almost ruined,
Yet still remains today.
But God has always known,
What is best for me;
And even when I can’t,
My future he can see.
And what I couldn’t see,
When she came in my life;
What God was giving me,
Was my future wife.
Author notes
Another love poem that I had written a few months ago. When i wrote this i was in an almost euphoric state because of the relationship I was in. Unfortunately since then the relationship fell apart but I still kept the poem because it was one of my most popular love poems. Some people told me it reminded them of a Hallmark card. It was written Febuary 20th 2008.
PoeticusVeritas
In a list
A contest entry
- The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
2800 points, ended July 2, 2677 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
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"Down from up above;" - "up/above" same word. I would remove "up" since "above" is rhyming with another word.
"Too do things our own way;" - "Too" would be "To".
"But God has always know," - "know" would be "known" since you're speaking of what "God" knew previously.
"What god was giving me," - since you capitalized "God" previously, I feel it should be capped here, as well.
A nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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once again thank you for the corrections.
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lovely. i'm sorry things fell apart for you.
it is amazing though, how you can look back and see how God orchestrated things. all those little "coincidences". -
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Yes It all depends on how you take things though.
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*applauds*
I love it.
It flows togetherp erfectly, not a single flaw.
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Wow Hannah comments on my poems again. lol
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Lovely. The rhyme is very nice. I like the imagery and flow in this piece. It was very well suited. Stellar! Thanks for entering and good luck!
+ Jackie -
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Thank you. Its the best of my love poems.
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i like rhyming, and its really good when the rhynming doesnt sound forced, and the rhyming didnt sound forced at all... it went well with the flow. good job, i really liked it! keep up the good work!
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Thanks Reece
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Beautiful write! But I will be blunt and honest.
It was just another day,
Like many gone before;
But little did I know,
Open was heaven's door.
God sent perfection,
Down from up above;
Knowing good and well,
That we would fall in love.
These lines were not good. Especially when you said "Down from up above" and "Open was heaven's door" They do not make any sense to me. The rhyme was okay but it could have been better. Sorry, but I didn't really enjoy reading this. Maybe if you changed the lines a little bit, it would be alot more better. It was still beautifully written but I didn't like some parts of it. Good luck in my contest!
+ Jackie -
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Open doors have always been a mataphor for opportunity and in that subject I was using "heaves door" as a sort of metaphor refering to devine opportunity. "Down from up above was kind of a stretch trying to get the rhyme to work, that line caused me alot of trouble and in the end thats what I ended up with. Thank you though for the honest critique.
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This is a very beautiful poem of love with your best rhyme and rhythm that I have seen.
It's a shame that the last stanza never came to fruition, but as you have said, it was not meant to be.
All the best..Sue
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This was probably the best love poem I have written before or since. I really havnt tried much since then and the few times that I have they have come out like crap. Its amazing how important a muse is to my writing.
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awwwwwww I agree , you were in a euphoric state like you mention in AN, that really shows through in the emotions portrayed here. I can see why it's a popular one and no, its not [cliche] like a Hallmark card LOL.
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Maybe I should contact hallmark. They might put it on one of thier cards lol.
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lovely write hun
just wondering why you don't post the poems when u write them? i noticed all the ones you have shown me say that it wias written a few months ago or what have you....just curious.
Tasha
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Because I'm slightly OCD. One thing that I am huge about with everything is keeping it in order by date. Bills books, poems, photos, you name it. I keep them all in order by date. I'm doing the same thing with my page. All the poems are being poested in the order they were written.
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aw this is really sweet hun
through it all you endure
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Well you can ever quit and give up or you can keep trying. As long as you keep trying your never really gonna fail.
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Sweet
As I was reading this I was so happy for your delight here...then your notes disclosed that the relationship didn't last. This poem is so heartfelt and tender. Take heart, though - sometimes people come in to our lives for a very brief time to teach us something. Just because it was short doesn't mean it wasn't special.
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Yes I know and I learned alot in that relationship and i am grateful for some things about it.
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Awww. this was so sweet! I really loved this!!!
SO much emotion, and love!! the big guy upstairs likes to send us some really nice surprises sometimes.. I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but at least you got a taste of Heaven for that short amount of time. and it didn't really sound like a Hall Mark card to me.. But thats just me..lol.
Beautifully written hun..I really liked this.
Angel
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I'm glad it doesnt seem that way to someone lol.
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