[ It's like I'm the cause of all the problems. ]

It's like I'm the cause of all the problems.
Everything little thing I do someone yells.
I try to keep my cool but sometimes it just doesn't work.
Do they see how much it hurts?
No longer able to talk for hours on the phone.
Can't call my girlfriend because of the damn bill went up.
The fact I'm the cause of it doesn't help any.
Cold shoulders and tongues of posions.
My world comes crashing down.
All the things I love well there's no pleasure.
The only thing that keeps me sane is my girlfriend.
How I turn away when someone asks what is wrong.
How the tension builds each day.
The look of hate? Disgust? Torture? Pain?
I really can't tell you what.
I just can't take it no longer.
I want to say "BACK THE FUCK OFF!"
Everyone changed.
I use to like coming home but know I want out.
I can't stand the hell that I'm going through.
You claim that you can't either but sometimes it gets to much.
So I shut the world out.
Tears I cry that no one sees.
Pain behind a mask of torture.
Living in this place I don't even want to say home.
That word I long to hear but even more the love.
Where did it all go?
You cry and I feel your pain.
I pushed everyone away.
Mixed emotions flood my heart.
I try to sort through them all and why I feel that way.
But it's like a battle I will never win.
Against the poison stings.
Of rapid firing of his tongue.
Hello I'm not deaf I heard every word.
Can't he come to me and say it.
Or is he afraid that I will beat his ass.
I got more balls then anyone I know.
I speak my mind whether he's going like it or not.
My feelings are going to come out.
I'm going explode.
I apologize now if I hurt you mom.
I just can't take this shit no more.
You watch as he says things about my sister.
The fact that she is fat.
You know how much I hate that word.
Everyone does.
But what does he do he says it again.
That pushed me over the edge.
I stand up for what I believe.
It's time you should to.
He lays a hand on me I'll bust his balls and he won't be breathing.
He ain't going to talk to me like that no more.
I am not taking it.
Besides I think he's afraid to come up to me and say anything.
The tears I cry because I know it hurts you and I never wanted that.
But it's time that I kick some ass.
No I ain't going fight.
My words will be my venom.
Everyone has got to know.
Just what is on my mind.
I won't hold nothing back.
It's time you heard it all.
The fact you took away the one thing that kept me sane.
The fact he thinks I'm the cause of it all.
The fact I hate every word that comes out of his mouth.
The fact that I don't talk when I'm hurt.
The facts will be heard.
Just one more thing will set me off.
I don't want it to hurt you.
I'm not telling you to choose.
But sometimes things got to be done.
Or you'll never make it through.
I blink back the tears as I write this.
Knowing that the two of you are only inches away from me.
Waiting for something to get said that I'm still on here.
I try to tell you what's on my mind.
But it feels like you don't listen to me.
When I take off you wonder why.
Then you bitch at me.
What did I do?
I didn't ask to live here I had no choice.
You took me in and I thought I was out of hell for good.
But now I'm back in it I went to go and not look back.
My will is strong I will stand tough.
But warning now one more thing I'm done.
I'll leave and not look back.
Where I will stay I don't know.
I just don't know how much more I can take.
By the poison of the tongue.
Venom is not my friend.
But only way to deal.
Is fight venom with venom.
Until one of us goes blue.
No not death but until the weaker one gives.
Which won't be me.
For when I get going there ain't no stopping.
I don't care what I say to him.
I done all I could to walk on eggshells.
But out the window they go.
It's time I speak and you will see.
Just how angry this all has made me.
The fact that the one thing that keeps me sane you take away.
The fact that his poisonous tongue needs to get pulled out and shoved down his throat.
The fact that even if she does call me what's the big deal.
The fact that no calls can be made out.
Hell I got a life.
I got people to call everyday.
If that's the case your taking away my dreams.
Of being in the United States Military.
I don't want any trouble.
But when push comes to shove.
I'm giving it my all.
Whether or not it happens tonight.
It's going to go.
My mind is setting on speeking what I feel.
If only you knew how much it hurt me.
To not say good night to the one I love so dearly.
How I can't hear her voice as long as I want.
The one thing that kept me sane you took away.
But the one I love no one is going to push away.
The times may be tough but she's all I think about.
The one I won't give up on.
So don't think that it's done.
It's far from it.