I'm ignored by all, with no friends.
Nobody talks to me they just walk on by me.
Very sad thing as I stand there tears hitting the ground.
I just want someone around.
Somebody please aknowledege me.
Am I really that far away that you can't see me.
Because I'm all alone and want to be part of the crowd.
Let someone see me let them speak to me.
Except noone will ever see me cause i'm invisiable and noone cares enough to look for me.
A contest entry
- Give me your lonely by darlintlc.
450 points, ended May 21, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
im having a writers block month so yeah
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is one of the saddest poems I have read in awhile...
"Somebody please aknowledege me
Am I really that far away that you can't see me"
We all feel this way sometimes! Sometimes you what to scream..."I'm here,see me!"
Very good and thanks for entering!
good luck
darlintlc -
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thanks i think and even if u do scream im here it doesnt mean that they'll hear =)
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nice consept but doesn't flow very well
good potetial though -
wierd
so what was on your mind when you wrote this poem. did you imagine yourself to be a ghost or what... cos i thought maybe that you were pouring out your pain in the first few lines of the poem and it really made me feel bad. but then again in last line you mention that you are invisible.. then how come some one see you.. It actually confused me. was a nice poem overall.. but plz explain to me what was on your mind when you wrote this -
Comfortably numb!!!
Dark, sad & profound...
Turmoil, despair & emotional numbness...
And I love it...
Well penned, well said, well done!!!
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Wow you just think too much about depressing stuff....try writing about something funny. Not that i don't like this poem, just that you need a different theme
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Erozay – You have a very emotional way of writing – pure stream of consciousness – what you think ends up on the paper… A very pure way of expression. I think you’re ready for the next step – making your verse more structured to support what you’re trying to communicate with your words. Very nicely done, however and very touching.
Ken
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