The Page, once blank and pure,
Now filled with hate and rage.
As The Child scribes his thoughts,
The lines become his stage.
Acted out on paper,
Each letter plays a part.
As the child pens in ink,
All that's in his heart.
In scenes that He directed,
The author writes his fate.
The Page contains the key,
But The Keeper is too late.
Once a bastion of hope,
Now a cemetery of dreams.
A place where time erodes
And rivers turn to streams.
There's no reading 'tween the lines,
On The Page of loveless youth.
When innocence is tainted,
The lies become the truth.
The words begin to blur,
Lines buckle under stress.
As The Page comes to an end,
The Child needs to rest.
Author notes
Last in my Child In A Box series, although I have ideas for a few more. Not sure if this is good enough to end on. Tell me what you think.
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre-writes Only....Give me your 25th poem by PurpleSky.
475 points, ended June 3, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honestly, what do you think?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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imagination flows from those crimson tears which rage within the inside!
Interesting perspective
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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WELL SAID
True said by you. I love this poem. the flow of the poem is great. good work. -
This reads kind of like a child who is being abused or am I way off? anyways this was very emotional and well written. Thank you so much for taking the time to enter my conetest and best wishes to you and good luck
huggles
Lena -
i think it is amazing in everyway
the flow and imagery is amazing and your words as i read them dig in me like they will forever be implanted there. Wonderful wonderful, need i say more?
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mmm..
this is my favourite one by far. it is just .... awesome. Need i say more?
Your a very very talented dan ..
the way you capture emotion and essence through words is just beyond me.
Smarty pants
Gorgeous
Nah
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many
Many teenagers would agree with the feelings you wrote here in this poem. I would say that I am not one, but I know many that are. You have a great talent To unviel such a piece I give you applaude.
I think I spelled unviel wrong hahah xD great piece all in all I expect more and more from you...keep it up Dano
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very good
its agreat piece of work to read.
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Immediately I felt I could relate to the opening lines, so many of us find comfort on the blank page or more than likely the screen where we can be our true selves and vent our feelings. Very impressed by the metaphor of the stage and the way you cleverly extend this. Overall, I liked the piece and the way it moved but I must admit I felt the final line was a bit of a let down, almost an anti climax and not strong enough for what is quite a powerfully worded piece overall. I'd love to see what you do with it.
Great line 'lines buckle under stress' when I write I don't cross out, if I do it hurts, so I particularly empathised here! I'm so anal about mistakes, my mss don't have them which is why I have to constantly draft out. Great write - thanks for making me think and thanks for sharing. This reminded me somewhat of Ted Hughes' poem The Thought Fox, if you don't know it, check it out.
Cheers
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This is a fantasticly penned poem! The meter and rhyme are wonderfully done. It had great imagery and a nice flow. You did beautifully at self-expression. Great write. ~mandie~
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Oh. This is a good poem that you have penned in here. I liked this. Well it's not really a happy poem exactly but I liked the meter and the rhyme in it. It was pretty good and I liked the images and the pace of it. I could just see this overwhelmed teenager trying to get it all out of thier system. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself.
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WOW
that was so amazing i could see the child in my mind almost keep it up
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Loved it.
My first impression was a child in pain. maybe abused & the only way he/she could get their feelings out was to write it down on paper. this poem i think speaks to many people who write poetry because that is the only way they know to get rid of their pain.
flowed wonderfully.
i completely understood it. there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it, it was straight forward & strong in its message.
amazing poem. keep it up. :]
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I haven't read the rest of the series, but as an introduction this was a good read. I think I'll pursue and read the rest of the series.
As for your AN comment, I'll reserve judgement for now!
This was a good 'stand alone' poem, enjoyable to read without seeing the rest of the series.
Great write! I'm sure as I make my way through the rest of the series you'll hear from me again!
Sunny
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If more ideas come to you, and they form into a poem, then you'll act. It's a good place to leave things for now.
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Epic
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god i've forgotten how good you are
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When innocence is tainted,
The lies become the truth.
The words begin to blur,
Lines buckle under stress.
As The Page comes to an end,
The Child needs to rest.
wowwwwww this is deff my favorite part its awsome. when the innocence is tainted omg awsome line. again wow. keep up the good work ~brook
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It's been awhile since I have read your work. It is still as great as I remember..
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I am very glad to see something by you on my screen. There is a simple strength to this, emphasised by the way you have set it out in couplets.
Line 13 should have "bastion", but that is the only wrinkle.
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I wondered about that when spellcheck told me it was wrong. Guessing bastillion is French and bastion is derived from it. Will edit. Thank you!
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