Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Luke 11

Knock and it shall be opened unto you
Ask and unto you it shall be given
The kingdom of God is not for the few
And for this reason, our Lord was risen

Ask and unto you it shall be given
For everyone that asketh, receiveth  
And for this reason our Lord was risen
The glory of God shall not deceiveth


For everyone that asketh, receiveth
The door shall be opened for you to find
The glory of God shall not deceiveth
The nature of God is loving and kind

The door shall be opened for you to find
Knock and it shall be opened unto you
The nature of God is loving and kind
The kingdom of God is not for the few

 

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum Poetry -

Luke 11:9,10 (King James Version)
9. And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
10. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

In a list

A contest entry

Comments:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Dark Otter
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    It is interesting for me

    to see your work. Curiousity overcomes me. Others have recommended you. Your critiques are very insightful. It is difficult to respin biblical verse. I've tried it only once. Yours is well done and a good take on the prompt.


  • moonbumps silver member
    May 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Amen to that...
    xxx Hilly


  • Swan song gold member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely write here makes me want to go back to that old gray church i went to when i was a teen
    but the pastor ran me off lol
    His daughter did not however lol


  • james119
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I love it !!!

    thanks for presenting this fine work. I like the rhyme, flow and message of this poem.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely Amera, a true spiritual masterpiece dear.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For it is the message-
    of the believer-
    that is most important-
    in poetry-
    and nay-
    the age of the language-
    utilized to speaketh-
    the truth-
    words are but words-
    however-
    inspiraton-

    is forever-

    well done-
    me Cubbie-
    as usual-



    Dad


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ..

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank yopu so much for resubmiting this poem on my request..you are a wonderful poet..and this poem itself a amazing poetry..thanks..


  • RedAquarius
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is not my path but still I find it inspirational and that is a tribute to your talent. The only thing that strikes me slightly odd is that "deceiveth" but I think that's just because I am not used to that mode of speech - the more I re-read it, it better it melds in for me.


  • Faeryn
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome!! I love it when you write spiritual poetry.
    Love,
    Tay


  • paulcreates silver member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this Amera. The subject is a strong theme.

    There's a mechanical dificulty with the line, "...The glory of God shall not deceiveth..."
    Perhaps "The glory of God to all who believe it"?

    Always enjoyed,
    Paul

    • Amera gold member
      May 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Your suggestion destroys the pentameter. I know King James English isn't correct but so does everyone who's read that version of the Bible. Thanks for your comment and applause.

      • paulcreates silver member
        May 9, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        All I could think of was a near rhyme.
        I think if you'd check, that line is not grammatically correct even for King James English. I use a KJV myself.


  • PerVirtuous
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a masterful rendition of the famous passage. You are such a great translator, you have put it into contemporary terms that are beautiful and meaningful. Thank you.

1 - 17 of 17