Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

and tonight is love


shifting jumbled thoughts
blur past shifting, wide eyes
as breath flees from between lips
lungs, and self;
a hand is soft against the coldness
that is left behind when my heart is
gone and taken by another;
his scent lingering in the aftermath
and breathlessly his name stays
on my dying tongue, i'm begging
him to come back to me.

impressions of threads are marked
on the life-lines of fingers,
appearing bloodied, but...
i can't felt as i once did,
my sight is gone and all there is
is this ugly darkness and his face
imprinted on my retinas,
and oh-god, i pray for whatever
cruel end this is, take me without him.

spider bites mark our abandoned skin,
and a weak chuckle escape at irony,
he, love, softly gone from me,
but i can feel more than i can
bear on my tattered, once proud
flesh seeks comfort, unable to be given;
so here, the taste is over-whelming
chest straining under
the intensity, i swear to be better,
touch his warmth, smell his scent,
kiss his lips, once more,
hear his words, nay, he coos me,
with soft caresses of not touch
...and whispers to soon join me
in this unholy matrimony...
& in his world...




i will never die


i can breath so much better
life returns to these stiff limbs
& i do not hurt

i will never die

Author notes

please don't ask; it hurt to write this.

A contest entry

i am longing for his words.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry to this contest.

    I read and respond with:

    Well I love the opening four lines, all of it, even the repeat of shifting which many may have refrained from.
    Impressively descriptive.


    This manner of 'dying' but yet begging.

    'i can't felt as i once did' - should this not be 'feel as i once did'?
    A powerfully able expression of broken-hearted-ness
    and feeling of devastation, which others have undoubtedly also known and eventually drawn great strength from.

    A huge love attached to this 'image', which as always, we create and recreate in as many breaths as we choose to continue doing so.

    You don't really need to die, but I wish for you the death and falling away of this that makes for so much grief. Knowing that there is far happier and always more Beauty to become alive in, while still holding what is treasured and loosing nothing of the good.

    Yes breathe new breath, and allow the life to return and delight in your essential self.
    Such talent for expression and deep, deep power of focused passion in determined intensity.

    Now allow compassion on your self and freely aim at what is known to be most good for you, where you choose, whilst learning to live again.

    I would simply have loved to see this 'intensity' from you aimed at the beauty of your own gift of life, free of the attachment to this that brings such distress.

    I hope that you do already realise that such power of heart you have, can transform things beyond the reaches of your imagination, as soon as you are ready to exercise the choice to make this come about. Of this I am certain. Perhaps you will yet hear these 'words' coming from your very own soul.

    Thank you so much for sharing this here, it is surely another expression of a certain kind of 'death' in process and progressing, even when not seen or felt that way.

    All the very best to you
    and blessings on you,

    Sol


  • NurseChilly gold member
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    i think that this a sad piece and it's personal to you, so i wont dwell too hard on it.. it didn't really grasp the concept of the contest, but i shall say, it was touching to read and i wish whatever it is, that hurts you so and to make you feel so sad eases in your life and you can move on and make amends with yourself

    a touching write, many thanks for entering our contest and good luck

    G.x

  • Miss Faith
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    aw.

    I'm sorry my dear.


    this was beautiful nonetheless.

    I hope you heal soon.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    A heartfelt penning dear and the fertile fields of heartache are always rich for the poet's picking. Best of luck in the contest dear.


  • brat prince lestat
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    So full of pain. so full of sadness. I pray you have joy to balance this out, so I will always hope.
1 - 5 of 5