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Make the Waters Hot

Did you just kiss my nose?
I will take a few of those
One is fine, two is nice
three would sure up the price.

Bubbles flying everywhere
touched me here, touched me there
Kiss the spots they did hit
then in water shall we sit.

Sweet little fun in the tub
is the kind of thing i love.
So come on in and brings the suds,
and i will show you what this does...

A towel nice and wet
twisted perfect now its set.
Where would be a spot to tap
maybe on your arm or on your lap.

Then again if im sitting there
with wild fingers in my hair.
Bubbles will surely fade,
and the towel will drift away.

And you would kiss, all the spots
that are sure to make the waters hot!
And within minutes waves will play,
pull the plug and lets slip away.

 

In reply to this Poem:

 


 

Bubble bath

 

It started off with one or two
All rather small and round
Then six then ten then quite a few
Some settled on the ground

Each on its own looked quite at home
Just floating in the air
But lots of them made up a foam
That's spreading everywhere

A single one has found your nose
Another couple missed
But it is just the first of those
That I think should be kissed.

By: Cricketjeff

Author notes

I planned no writing tonight, but luckily Candace is typing this up for me. This poem is actually a response to Cricketjeffs "Bubble Bath" piece. He was being funny and ah well he got this. I Blame it on the drugs. Jeff I listed you as collaborator cause I just went ahead and placed your piece in with mine. So that way you can see the responses yours brings in, yours was perfect, I was just playing around. If you mind let me know and I shall have it erased when i get back on.
( sorry Jeff, had to do it, but you know i love ya)
I love you all,
Passions

In a list

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Swan song gold member
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    oh you two are sooo good lol Excellent !


  • 1stpoet
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    I like the blend
    could be lots of fun if one does not slip on the splashings on the floor..

    WSD


  • Griswold silver member
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    Very cleverly done both of you, You know Jeff Tory just has to try to outdo you at every turn. Gotta love her dont ya...Scott Love you Tory...

  • Raven Rose
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    you make me want a bubble bath lol... with someone l0ol....i liked it lots lol....

  • Brooklynn-X-Tainted gold member
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    damn this is hot. i like the kissing of the nose its playfull and loving. your poem flowed really well and i like how its sexy but no vaulger(i cant spell). this is awsome and i like how u wrote it as a response to a poem u read thats a good way to find insperation of course as long as the other person is game. this is great keep up the good work ~brook

    . Rewarded 6


  • Goddess of Discord
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    A fun write that makes me giggle with thoughts of bubble bath play time leading to more later on. I like this poem but I did seem so typing corrections needed.

    In line 18 'im' should be 'I'm'
    Through out the piece you flip flop back and forth from the use of a capitalized 'I' to a lower case 'i'. I have no problems with it being lower case but at lease be consistent through the whole poem. Also, the use of the word 'and' towards the end of the poem seem to be over done. Kind of gives it a feel of a runon sentence rather than a stanza.


  • Jm520
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sexy. I may have to show it to my boyfriend. I think it would drive him crazy. Well done!!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Uniquely-Scarred gold member
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    cricketjeffs poem is good stuff, but i truely preferd the reply to it had more bite and the rhymn was really good

    . Rewarded 4


  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    how could I possibly object to having my name attached to such a poem?

    Lovely stuff Tory!!!


  • ennovy silver member
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    Hi honey I see you are in fair spirits, and your writing makes me feel better, and we all miss you. Brazos & I both send our love, prayers & best wishes..to you Tory....we love you, God Blessed you with poetry and your rhyming is awesome....novy

    God Bless

    . Rewarded 6


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    lol So nice to read a piece that is just full of fun and rhyme. Good job! Love, C


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    Fun. Good to see a lighthearted write tonight, even if it is just the drugs...


  • poeticweaver gold member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    I can see the drugs are kicking in, and they must be some good ones at that! You two did a groovy job on this fun to read piece. Thanks for sharing, and ah ha, I got to comment first to. I feel special, no where's the little yellow bus. Peace, much love and light, Timothy ~ aka poeticweaver ~

1 - 13 of 13