`
it is five in the morning
and i can still see night's face
watching over us,
and our nakedness
comforting each other - silently,
i watch your eyes asleep
and your body embracing mine
on a bed of rain.
`
Author notes
38 words
A contest entry
- PIF - three of my favorite things by tara wilson.
1200 points, ended May 22, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This one touches me in some way... maybe something I've been missing for a long while...
Preliminary list!
Thanks for the entry
Leander -
love the images
5 am and morning rain, nakedness
i don't think hypothermia will be possible
if the was me i would never ever sleep
i could never sleep lol
i would so love the intimacy
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this is very gentle & such a beautiful moment
This poem really puts me in it...I love the scene this is...the title makes me think of the way the lovers made love...and under a night sky...on a bed of rain...my goodness...and watching the way bodies are embraced like how a vine wraps around its lover.
I love this poem so much..you took my favorite things and gave me a gorgeous poem ...thanks so much for this entry
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I really like this - "and i can still see night's face
watching over us,"
I too write thinking about the 'face' of things etc. It particularly works well here. Good luck
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just enough!
i love it!
ten
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woops
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Wow, this is indeed a very very beautiful "morning song". I love the "on a bed of rain" part! It's so beautiful. Good luck in Tara's contest, Hensley
- namita -
"a bed of rain"....loved it, Hensley. This is lovely poetry. It is both soft and sensual. This is now what I call a "morning song"!!
~ Nicolette
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