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The Beast Within

Wild animal in the cage
Striking at those who come within
Just a few feet

What made you so angry
Tell me, I'm a friend
I mean no harm
Let me set you free

Expressionless face
Can tell so much

Black as a starless night sky
Like pieces of coal
Cooling down in a sanded campfire

Look me in the eye
A demon of a beast
Strangling the last kindness
From a once pure heart
What made you go crazy

Insanity lingers in your soul
Like the staining of red wine
Spilled by the angry couple
Onto the white carpet

The darkness of the corner
Became the evil sanctuary
You've chosen to live in
Avoiding all human contact

Head shy, skittish instincts
Look into the metal bars

Eyes dark like the feathers
Of a Raven winging through the trees
Fire filled rage
Burning, charring, ashes

Can I be a friend
Learn to love
Allow light to shine through

Steel bars reflect a blurry image
What have I become



Author notes

just trying out random styles
idk it turned out pretty good =]


[option one for Show Me The Best Of You]

I am wonderful

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • takenfromgrace
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is good. I like alot. Nice write.


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nicely done. Yes I agree it came off well. This flowed very well off the tongue. Thank you for entering and thank you for following the rules. This was a wonderful poem for you to share with us. Good luck in the contest


  • GypsyEyes
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was nothing short of amazing! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • Nikki Rowles
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like it if you can write like this just trying out different styles well then yoour doing really good....Thank You for entering
    ~*~An Unwritten Truth~*~


  • RX-Queen
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write, has good flow and imagery, "Eyes dark like the feathers Of a Raven winging through the trees", well done. Thanx for entering and good luck!

  • piccola silver member
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad and strong. Wanting to embrace and pull in but we push away instead... so sad for us


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very good take on the prompt!

    and no one has touched on this yet...how we cage ourselves boldly with the green eyed monster of jealousy,
    envy or lust.
    we actually push away with these feelings...instead of
    what we want .......to pull in....
    excellent job! the air of the format paused us more
    to reflect upon each line.
    well done! well done!
    ears/Seattle


  • pancake
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice. Very unusual. I liked it...good luck!


  • emotina
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very nice work
    like the clever use of imagery

  • Deadmans Heart
    May 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    pretty cool style here. props.


  • xCandieKissesx
    May 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! I like the use of metaphor. It added more expresion to the poem and made it more powerful! Great imagery! Thanks for entering and good luck!

    + Jackie


  • Redrusty66
    May 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write. Wonderful use of metaphore and analogy to create an intoxicating atmosphere. Enjoyed it greatly, thanks for the great read.


  • FlipperSwitch
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you seem to be coaxing the beast to show itself for what it really is- then at the end it appears to be yourself. Thank you for entering.

1 - 14 of 14