All these forgotten dreams,
they remind me that you're absent,
and all the broken smiles
tell me that they know.
I'm so lost without you here,
and sometimes I wonder if you're still alive,
running around like you used to
laughing because I can't find you.
The colors? Pass the eraser,
get rid of them all!
The music, turn it bitter
paint it with your essence.
I remember your eyes,
so blue, so beautiful,
I remember fall, you loved it,
loved the orange leaves.
Fragile, just like you,
you'd joke, not knowing how true.
I loved you! Yet it was the beginning of the end,
of a friendship, or another sweetheart.
I should have known better,
my love is a curse.
So I'll pencil in your name,
and pray to the gods that your remembered.
The moments of joy are fleeting,
brief, like a dragonfly mating.
See these stars? Turn them off,
They are not welcome anymore.
I'm thankful for the memories,
but the ribbon tears won't stop coming
I know this is novel, narcotic even.
I'm so tired of staring at your stuff.
Author notes
A beautiful Lie- 30 seconds to mars
Danneh
Options:
7
2, all but awesomeness.
6, memories
All I've got left to say, is why did you have to come down with cancer, why did you have to leave me so young?
A contest entry
- Options Contest by Simply Simple.
1000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be harsh, be specific.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Heart-breaking perfection. It must be hard... Thank you for entering. This was excellent...
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The first three stanzas were excellent--really and truly!! It's effortlessly good and natural in its flow.
Suggestions:
Every single 'your' in this poem should be 'you're' for 'you are'.
"I'm thankful for your memories,"
I think this should be "I'm thankful for THE memories" because the memories belong to you, right?
"See this stars?"
Should be changed to 'See these stars?'
=]
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Have I ever told you I'd be lost without you? ^^ Fixed, though I disagree with the top one. The line isn't you are stuff ;P
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Very touching, this made me think of the people that have left me through death, dropping out or just through drifting apart. You brought tears to my eyes, the flow and word choice was so incredibly perect. Thank you for this amazing work.
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Deeply moving piece touching from Begining to end
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