Blood pouring from every orifice
Formed by this sharp blade.
You’ve left me here alone to bleed
And end this premature life.
You betrayed me.
Forsook me.
How could you leave me
All alone in the dark
With no company
Except
For this sharp, silver companion,
Soaked in a fluid
With a flamboyant, crimson tint?
Rapidly losing life
And vigour,
Hooked on this vendetta
That’s consuming me.
I’ve gone past
The point of no return.
It’s too late to undo
The mistake I’ve made –
The one that’s cost me my life;
The one leaving me
Lying in a puddle
Of my own charcoal blood.
The last image in my head
Is that of your face –
Verminous,
Yet beautiful.
I can’t seem to
Make up my mind.
But now,
There’s no need to,
For the shadows of death
Have devoured me.
Author notes
welllll it seems a little dark,but i hope u enjoyed!
is it good? and what do you think?
Comments
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see? look at the comments below, people do like your work! lol.
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Wonderful write!
I feel this way at times, thank you for sharing your pain or the pain of your character in this prose. I love the sharp steel companion part as some men/women think they are sharp as steel the metaphor relates. Blessings, Angellightwolf
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amazingness
i like this a lot. especially the word forsook. nice word.
i read it twice. i only do that to poems that seem like they forge a ways into the extraordinary.
keep up the incredible writing.
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Haha. This, a little dark? Well my good writer, I'd like to read what you think is dark.
Despite this darkness (which I totally do not mind at all) this was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G...
My favourite line:
"It’s too late to undo
The mistake I’ve made –
The one that’s cost me my life;
The one leaving me
Lying in a puddle
Of my own charcoal blood."
I liked the charcoal blood. I don't know if you were meaning to do this, but the charcoal makes it seem you think its 'un-pure' and this was the only way to cleanse it? Whatever it is, it was very good.
Great Write,
Mel
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Wow. you got it right. That's exactly what it was supposed to be.
Frankly,I do not find this poem dark. But, all my friends do, so I guess i was looking at it through their eyes.
But thanks for the comment!
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T.T a little dark? this IS dark. lol. i think this is one of your better writes,
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