My love what has become of us
We walk these desolate hallways
side by side , yet utterly alone.
All light seems to have faded and
that which once held beauty within its hands
has faded, into shadowed darkness
clutched by the cold grasp of emptiness
that has become our hearts.
No longer does your sweet voice
echo off these walls of stone
replaced instead by melancholy sighs.
My heart weeps for all that has been lost,
somehow misplaced in the whispers of time.
Hear my heart my love, beneath this mist of sadness,
for it still beats for you and longs for the day
when once more, you might hear its call
and come rushing back to my awaiting arms.
Author notes
original painting by Victoria Frances
In a list
- A Vampires Heart • next in list
- Loss , Dispair & Darkness • next in list
- 1. Gold List • next in list
A contest entry
- Broken Dreams - Quicky 20 lines by Rebekah-Ann.
390 points, ended May 9, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Challenge! by joleahe.
400 points, ended February 26, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Strings. by Barely Breathing.
800 points, ended October 8, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is such a brilliant write. I really loved reading through this. The picure you have used here is so stunning and fits in perfectly with this poem. Thank you for entering my contest and all the best of luck.
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This is gorgeous. Great job.
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I happen to adore Victoria Frances and this is one of my very favorite pictures. The poem is lovely and sweetly sad, but in that sadness lies beauty and you, my friend have aquired that rare talent to make beautiful poetry sad and sad poetry, beautiful....Wonderful job my friend...
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Wow this poem was simply amazing. Just as all of your poems. You have an amazing talent, and you certainly show what you can do. Congratz on winning this contest...If you don't mind...I'm going to add you to my favorites. Your poetry is just so captivating. Great write!!
~W.W~
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Thank you ever so much for such an encouraging comment , and no, I do not mind at all if you add me, in fact I am honored. Thank you ~Bret~
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This is amazing. It is exactly what I'm feeling right now and to here you put in into such beautiful words nearly made me start crying.
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Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment ~Bret~
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Gorgeous painting. Amazing poem!
This has so much meaning and sadness. I love it. You are an amazing poet!
Congrats on winning!
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Thank you very much, I am glad that you enjoyed it ~Bret~
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This is wonderfully sad ~ oxymoron I know, but true. Love the picture and you portrayed love and lost feelings well in this piece. The more work I read of yours the more I enjoy it ~ congrats on your gold ~ well deserved. ~Samantha
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I felt my heart sink as i read this...its so dark and sad.You definitly have talent.
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Thank you for the kind comment ~Bret~
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the poem speaks to me, i can feel the heartache and isolation. great write
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I am pleased that you like it, thank you much ~Bret~
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Congratulatins m'lord on your shiny gold!
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Oh wow, I did not even realize that this contest was over and that I had place in it , Thank you much M'Lady ~Bret~
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This is so heart breaking! I can see why it was chosen as the winner. You did a great job. Congratulations.
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I thank you much ~Bret~
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Such heartache! I read this and feel as if I wrote this myself. Thank you for this beautiful entry! You wrote a brilliant piece on this promt and I would like to personally congratulate you on that.
Take care
Bex -
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Thank you kindly dear lady ~bret~
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Awwwww
This is very sweet, and very sad at the same time. Although It touches my heart, that you long for the love of your life, and yet you are not sure if she longs for you too. its very sweet and Sensitive. I can feel your hurt in this poem. I love the way the words flow through, and you just can't help but to keep reading. Keep at it. Not everyone is meant to be with someone, but there is someone out there for everyone. Keep searching you will find someone I am sure. With your poetic talents you have got be able to in captivate someone body's soul. Great job on this poem it is a truly great write. I see no room for improvement in this poem. It is a classic heartfelt poem about a lost love. Great job once again.
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Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment, I am glad that you have enjoyed it ~Bret~
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this was a hard piece to swallow. come on grab my hand, and lets find another land to play on. People, i do say have no problem breaking dreams. Well done and best of luck in the contest
Love
Passions
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Yes I often wish to drift away and just leave this world behind, in search of one more suitable , Thank you much hun ~Bret~
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You pulled off the meloncholy in this write, the beautiful sadness one feels when a heart that sees what it wants, cannot possess it. I guess it is true of all love, it is free if it is given and if not then it truly wasn't yours at all. Love, C
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This was a truly beautiful write but then what else can one expect from a wonderful writer like yourself.. This was full of imagery that was just so vivid, it really pulled the reader along.. well done!
Best of luck..
Angel
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A very beautiful write, good job.
I read the piece a few times because I'd like to give you any advice I can find, so:
Check each of your lines for unity to the main idea.
And maybe get the online thesaurus running, I know it helps me a lot, there's simply too many words in our language to memorize them all.
Again good luck in the contest.
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