Driving home was harder than you'd think
I should've never had that much to drink
The car is swaying to and fro
Never knowing which way to go
I looked left, I looked right
Seeing but not seeing the car emerging from the night
When I hit that car I felt like trash
Four little kids died in that crash
The deaths and the crash have come with a cost
For it is my sanity which I have lost
So now I'm sitting here in jail
It'll be many years before I can make bail
The images in my mind are so profound
I lose myself and I hit the ground
I get mad at myself and I strike the floor
Those kids deserved so much more
What did I do what, what have I done
I didn't need beer to have some fun
So I wonder what people would do, what would they say
If only they could see what I've become today
A contest entry
- vintage sunday by adsaige.
300 points, ended June 25, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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interesting twist to the prompt, but it doesn't capture what i had hoped for this contest. i'm not a fan of rhyme, and i feel the rhyme was hot and cold at time. you know rhyming is good when you don't notice the person is rhyming at first. perhaps the rhyme would have been better if it was in-scale and not end rhyme.
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