Over my shoulder and just to the right.
A man lays dying from a horrible fight.
Over on my left, stands a man with a gun.
I knew that this man just had to be the one.
There was hate in his eyes and anger on his face.
The evil in his stare caused my heart to just race.
Never had I seen the devil up close.
That look in his eye was the thing I feared most.
His eyes opened wide and looked me dead in the face.
I thought to myself, I wish I hadn't come to this place.
I took a closer look at the man on the floor.
He had a hole through his chest like I've never seen before.
Blood just pouring onto the blue, colored rug.
Because of a devil with a gun and a 45 slug.
Then it hit me and I realized what I had seen.
The man with the gun was me at thirteen.
A dream I'll remember for the rest of my days.
When I killed the man who raped me and sent me up in a blaze.
Author notes
pappacass
In a list
A contest entry
- #70 For anyone on MY favorites list ONLY by daviscth.
300 points, ended May 21, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New Best Friend by ThePerfectEnd.
300 points, ended May 23, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What are your thoughts on this topic?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Like your previous writes this was no different…
I mean this was so brilliant and extremely great
The rhymes were awesome
The story was great
The flow was good
So as the rhythm
You’re gifted and talented!
I like how you showed your emotions; good to hear it was just a dream you at 13 with a gun…
I’m looking forward for more of your rhyming stuff
I’ll give you 3 of these, I know this is nothing I would give you 10, 20 or even 50 if I could
Shuberth
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Oh wow!! This was such an intense poem. The imagery was heart stopping and the emotions over flow.
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Oh gosh.. I hope this isn't your real experience hun! This was so heartbreaking!! I'm lost for words...
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I'd change line 1 from a period at end to a comma, but that's my only suggestion. Episodes such as these will always remain with those involved and writing is such a wonderful release for that. Thank you for sharing something personal.
. Rewarded 4
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Horrifying!
A well told story of a most disturbing
event which obviously changed you forever.
The heart cries tears of anger and disgust.
Hoping your wounds will heal with the ointment
of time. A poignant and powerful poem.
. Rewarded 4
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shocked speechless...
amazing, powerful, brilliant...what more can i say. I hate copying and posting parts of ones poetry into there comment boxes,, so i'll just say the whole piece was magnificent! -
unexpected and brilliant
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wow the ending shocked me wat an amazingly written poem
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this...is shockingly amazing...
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This robs the reader of much to say because of the shock of the piece itself. I think the biggest impact is, how removal from the situation allows one to see, that hatred and fear are the main motivation for these acts. To acknowledge these feelings as part of oneself, when they have been driven there by a terrible act such as rape is very hard.
. Rewarded 6
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Wow...I did not expect the ending at all. Very powerful, full of anger and fear. The rhythm was off at times, but the last four lines made up for it by far. I can relate to the wish of righteous vengaence against the worst of people. Very good.
. Rewarded 4
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Oh wow. I can really feel the rage in the piece. Struck a chord, because I was molested as a teenager, not raped, but still not good... Very powerful write.
. Rewarded 4
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