Cascading fingers
that dance upon the shingles
shielding within
the fertile seeds of thought
Trickle across my soul
as if it were a ritual cleansing
to free my heart
from the stained breath
of a would be Casanova.
Author notes
prompt: rain - in 40 words or less. my word count 38.
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF - three of my favorite things by tara wilson.
1200 points, ended May 22, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick a word - Write a poem in 10 lines or less (F) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended December 14, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Detailed critique welcome
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is cute but doesn't fit my contest. Clearly your prompt is "rain" as stated in your notes. For it to qualify "fingers" should have been the inspiration. Sorry.
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wow all i can say is WOW simply amazing
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Of a world be Casanova...he steals my heart from within. lol, I wrote a poem about him once, never did let him win my heart!
From the gentle sounds of rain, it teases my sences, and frees my heart. Inspiring words! ~Sie
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ahh would be Casanova's - a sly and potentially dangerous beast, I used him as a metaphor for outpouring of love in this piece, thought it tied in to the theme of rain well. thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment.
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"Cascading fingers
that dance upon the shingles"
I love that metaphor for rain...
also, I love a 'ritual cleansing'..very creative..
thanks so much for entering my contest
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oOOoo I really liked this! well written!
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I love the feel of this! Subtley sensual.
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beautiful poem ...loved your take on the prompt thank you for sharing, best to you in the contest~ blessings always~ Trisha
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