Burning my skin, like acid,
toxic tears drip down my face.
Remembering that day when you
took me to the forest,
stabbed me in the neck,
you left me there to die.
I kept begging you to stop.
Screaming out ,
No one could hear those horrid calls.
My punctured arteries’ spraying blood
all over my bruised body.
My soiled white gown became pink,
absorbing the blood
from my wounds.
You jumped in you car
raced away, left me there to die.
I crawled across the rough ground,
applying pressure to my neck.
hours later I came upon an old dirt road,
passed out, for I could not continue anymore.
That day my angel was driving his horse drawn carriage
to the city of lights and dreams.
He stopped at the scene looked over my lifeless body,
took me into town with him.
There a wonderful doctor treated me,
to my amazement, I lived.
Everyday I look in the mirror,
I began to cry.
Toxic tears drip down my face,
burning my cheeks.
I see that scar,
memories unfold
You said you loved me.
Yeah right?
Author notes
Option 4 title promt ~toxic tears~
written for the contest; not really true
A contest entry
- bored... by dramaiswhatever.
550 points, ended May 24, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with your best shot by MYsecondchance.
330 points, ended June 13, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My First break my contest cherry! by thenorthernstar.
400 points, ended May 25, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness by HiddenByTheDark.
330 points, ended July 23, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
wow so powerful.. i love it
-
finally thats more like it your a finalist
-
_No_ Creativity / Originality
_No_ Imagery
_Yes_ Metaphor
_Yes_ Emotion
_No_ Reaction
_Yes_ Relatability
_Yes_ Fluency
_No_ Powerful Beginning
_No_ Powerful Middle
_No_ Powerful Ending
_No_ Connecting Ideas
_No_ Interesting Idea Behind Piece and/or a Message Behind Piece
_No_ Interesting In General (Does Not Bore) -
holy crap this is amazing
welcome to the finals -
oh my god!
-
nice work
-
ohh i like this...its like ur 1st darkish poem and it has great imagery!
christina
-
this poem expresses pain so powerfully it gave me chills, the word choice the emotion, just all of it. you took my breath away. best of luck,
-
Incredible imagery. Great job.
-
wow i loved this pain in this poem
-
i am speechless
this write crawls inside me and turns on its razor sharp weed eater .. omg.. i hope this was not something that happened to you.. if so .. i am very sorry .. no one should ever have to go through such a night mare just know this to whomever this happend to... YOU ARE LOVED... this write moved me to tears they should allow more clappies
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
