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Remonstrance - after Manyo 2841 Kokka Daikan

But dimly at daybreak I saw him ascend

from tatami two shared through the night.

Why must I, for his sake, my life lonely spend ?

Oh no more should he 'scape from my sight !


Though bough not the reed break how can maid defend

both love's light and high hopes when her knight

gives little, too much takes ?  May broken hearts mend ?

Abandoned mind dwells with/on blight !

Author notes

First stanza Manyo : 2841 Kokka Taikan

expanded from waka

For Japanese Literature see :
http://www.columbia.edu/cu/ealac/jpnlit/pdf/BibliographyforResearchinJapaneseLiterature.pdf

_______

1° pic attribution unknown


background http://www.flickr.com/photos/nanotubo/61268583/

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Elfin silver member
    2 days ago
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    Amazing!!! the lonliness and pain in this poem is like a shroud around your words. it is a long time since a poem affected me the way this one has . Congratulations my friend on this beautiful, if sad, piece. Val

    . Rewarded 4


  • darkalesyse
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful write. I've never had to feel this way, but when i do i'm pretty sure i'm going to look back on this poem. It's a nice read and flows with soft pain. Thanks for sharing.

    ~tiff

  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    I think this captures the heart of a Geisha.. the loneliness that is in her heart... very beautifullly done!! Thank you


  • crazymomma
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    I think you described the picture well. Nice poem. Good luck in the contest


  • buffsab99 silver member
    May 8
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    This is a wonderful write. It shows her beauty and empty heart. Best of luck in this contest


  • frownsnfreckles
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    The heart is a fluid thing, but so much depends on youth and beauty in shallow waters of reflective pools...

    'how may maid defend

    both love's light and high hopes when her knight

    gives little, too much takes ?'

    another of those eternal questions beautifully presented.


  • Room without doors silver member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    A great answer to the opening stanza. Women are often treated badly and it is so wrong. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 7 of 7