I've never been to a wallmart but you say they have everything
set up a copious amout of garden furniture in the homewares section and serve tea and toast to your fellow customers while dressed up like an english lord, with top hat and tails and the like.
Follow around one of the employees asking random questions... How much is this?... Does this come with a free cell phone? Do you think there's life on other planets? Do you have this in purple? Will this fertiliser go with the outfit i'm wearing? Do you think if i set up all these hoses on all these ladders and bought this pump i could drown god?
Stand at the customer service desk with your mates prank calling them from your cell phone and react to their frustration as if they can't actually see you.
Go to the photolab.... Pull down your pants... take an entire roll of film's worth of photos of your bare ass... remove the film... hand it to the clerk, and say "I suspect i have a growth. How long will these take?"
Put all the heavy metal albums in the classical section and put all the classical cds in the book department... i've always thought they'd sell better there.
Set all the televisions to play a dvd of yourself reading the alphabet. set them all at slight intervals so as to create a wall of noise effect.
Ask a staff member.... do you think this knife would penetrate a human sternum?
Get all your mates together and load up trolleys with everything you ould possible have in a fully equipt home as they checkout person is ringing them up, say, "oh how could i forget? Four walls and a roof please."
A contest entry
- Bored At Walmart? by piccola.
600 points, ended May 8, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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just sad
but true! My wife drags me there twice a week to by nothing.Me and my grand daughter 3 yrsld play tea party on patio furnature. Fun wow!!!
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brilliant
that word sums it up. That was absolutely fantastic!
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lovely, just lovely! And have you tried these yet yourself? Ha ha. I like the knife and butt one the best!
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You can do anything to people when they aren't expecting it... Especially if you have a camera. When i was a teenager we used to call strangers and tell them stories for hours... So long as you're friendly and keep them talking... they never hang up. I sometimes wonder who's the odd one.
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This did make me laugh. If we got together we could have great fun.
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Its hard to pick a favorite from this list. These are hysterical. I doubt this has anything to do with writing poetry but it keeps me in a good mood. Thank you for your entry... I like the knife one but I suspect you might be held by the police...so let's do tea
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