You could count the number of products made in America.
This might take awhile because a lot of products are either made in China or shipped over from Mexico.
Count the number of times the cashier actually smiles at you or
welcomes you to Walmart.
Let me know if you get past one hand.
If you are really looking you might see the fake laundry detergent bottle move.
However do not go over and poke the guy that is behind it in the eyes, you may get arrested.
Check the tag on the box to see if the price that is listed on the item is the price they charge at the registar.
If you are buying gas you must be quick because the price may change from the time you start pumping to the time you pay for it.
Or when that fails try to see how fast the stack of toliet paper piled in the action aisle falls when you play break the ice.
You could possibly get a plastic knife from housewares and go over to the grocery aisle, put some mayonaise on two slices of bread, put slices of ham, turkey and cheese on a sandwich while leaving the packages behind. Then walk around and eat the sandwich.
Odds are you probably will have eaten it before anyone notices the packages stuck over in the women's hoseiry where you stashed it.
Trust me this happened at a Walmart store.
Try out a riding tractor and see if there are any directions in English on it.
Because you have to be a multilinguist to read the Spanish, German, Chinese and whatever else they print it in. Or just look at the pictures to see if they make sense.
Author notes
These are a few of the rewarding experiences down at the local Walmart store. I worked at a Walmart Supercenter for a year before going back into nursing.
A contest entry
- Bored At Walmart? by piccola.
600 points, ended May 8, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
You must know how to die well in order to live well.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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So true!!!
Having visited the States a couple of times I can relate to much of what you have said. Add to that asking for anything in an English accent (as I do naturally) and see the look of despise you recieve before they walk away without even responding verbally.
Walmart, Cheap certainly, but cheerful, it most certainly isn't!!!
Love the observational, blunt honesty & humour of the piece...
Another great piece you have here...
Well penned, well said, Well done!!!
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Very funny!! Loved it all but my favorite part is:
"try to see how fast the stack of toliet paper piled in the action aisle falls when you play break the ice"
Ha! ha!
darlintlc -
laughing at the sandwich one, i have done things like that whilst shopping, i mean come on i am buying two week's worth of groceries, surely they can't begrudge me having a snack while i am doing it
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You made me
and chuckle to myself. That store is a hodgepodge of confusion and you are right about the languages on products now. I think that checking clothing labels is my favorite thing to do in Walmart. Try to find "made in America." THAT is not very easily done.
I really loved this. Whimsical but so true. ~ Joyce
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Yum. The ham sandwich sounds yummy right now! Your're better off doing what you're doing. I'm so glad I read this. Everything you say is true, or almost. The only greeter I ever saw, was at Christmas time...The Salvation Army Guy! While you were trying out the tractor, maybe you should have ridden it out the door and see if anyone noticed. Then, later go back for things already hidden! Hilarious!
Shana
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well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'd like a ham sandwhich about now so could we go do that together? The gas thing sounds too true
thanks so much for entering.
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