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Pt 3. Subtle



 

 



When Friday
melted
into Saturday

 


your subtle words
caught my eye
and my mind

felt the heat


of your

skin

 

in mine



[I blushed]



you knew

you had

control


 


...didn't you?



 

and when

I saw you again
the real you... that is

I wanted
to know




...when

 

 

will

 

 

we...?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I might edit.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • borrowing.moonlight gold member
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow that really catches my attention...
    i love this, i actually had my eyebrows raised!
    your emotion is great, and honestly
    i can relate with this whole idea..
    i love this
    congratulations on making my finalists! [out of like over 200 lmao]


  • Condemd RyeZing
    June 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write. Short, sweet, and to the point. Nice job.


  • DogTagz-TheJalapeno
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Says alot to be so simple! good luck on the contest!


  • violetrose
    May 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful! Without a lot of words you create a very powerful and intense feeling just with your choice of words and the format of the poem as well as the images you invoke. I especially love your use of ... and ? to really give the piece a rhythm and character of its own. Bravo!


  • The Poetic Angel
    May 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awsome write i loved it

    xxx cheeky xxx


  • elemental angel
    May 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully written
    Bravo


  • basilisk
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Steamy!

    I love the first stanza, great start. This flows like melted chocolate. Melted chocolate on . . .

    Great write.

1 - 8 of 8