[I crave perfection.]
I like the permanent taste it leaves
In my mouth;
A coppery layer of [beauty.]
Why does it taste like blood?
Once you get a taste of
[Perfect]
You’re never coming back.
It traps you below the surface of
Your skin.
You live in your own body, inside yourself.
(Imaginary world.)
But the demons, [your] demons,
Crush the truths. Make up your own world.
You breathe unreal air,
You feel fine, but truthfully:
Darling, you’re drowning in perfection.
Everything feels right when it’s
Yours.
Each step you take feels so
Right.
But you’re really walking through a forest of
Your own veins,
The sky consists of scar tissue and bacteria;
The rivers are blood.
Breathe [dehydration] and [malnutrition] like
Real air.
(But soon your body grows empty,)
Your mere existance
With perfection
Is threatening to
[Introduce you to its friend suicide.]
Apparently [suicide] has a gun
And isn’t afraid to use it.
Perfection strangles you, it’s all
Just a trap, I promise.
While your addiction to living
Inside yourself intensifies, your new world
Chains your wrists together tighter
[and tighter]
(While suicide tugs the chain and whispers everything will be all right.
Just remember: its a lie.)
And even then, as a slave to your own
Addiction,
You exist in a flawless environment,
Beautiful surroundings that only the
[Stars should see.]
Oh, how lucky you feel to witness this.
(But you don’t know how many others see it too.)
Isn’t perfection’s superiority over
The world around you
[So alluring?]
Just be careful, because once you
[Want]
[Need]
[Are] perfection
x x x
There’s no turning back.
Darling, I think you’re stuck.
. . . . .
. . ^ . ^ . ^ . ^ . .
. ^. . . ^ . ^ . .
. ^ . .^ . . . ^ .
. . ^ . ^. .^ . .
[I want to be air.]
Author notes
I dunno... I thought I hinted well at an eating disorder.
Like it or dislike it,
A contest entry
- She's Got A Body Like An HourGlass And Its Ticking Like A Clock--x by Dead Star--x.
475 points, ended May 12, 28 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Need Motivation... (overcoming an eating disorder) by HeartbreakHeroine-x.
950 points, ended May 20, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2149 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
---------> Beauty
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i like it, i think you described an eating disorder well but you also could interpret this poem to other things as well. i really liked it! =) great job
-
I like this! It's beautifully written, describes an eating disorder well, and it emotional besides. Some awesome lines in here:
"Once you get a taste of
[Perfect]
You’re never coming back.
It traps you below the surface of
Your skin." How true, and well written besides...
I would have liked it to be more of inspiration for getting over it for this contest, but as for the poem itself, I wouldn't have changed anything. Well penned, poet, and thanks for your entry...
~QoA -
i really like the final lines
it pulls the whole thing together nicely
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like it? i love it...lol...i love the last part...god your an amazing writer...if you ever gave up id have to betch slap you...so just keep writing and it will all be okay =]
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You are truly talented
This is totally amazing....
Just be careful, because once you
[Want]
[Need]
[Are] perfection
x x x
There’s no turning back.
Darling, I think you’re stuck.
Such truth in it
-
Darling, you’re drowning in perfection
♥
wow doll... im speechless
its simply tragically beautiful <3
♥
Dead Star--x
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