What I Couldnt Say

You asked me if I was ok
I said I was fine
I lied
I just couldnt make the words come out

I dont want to be here without you
I hate the way it makes me feel
it actually physically hurts
like my insides are twisting and turning

I want to be able to hold you
and smell your wonderful smell
just melt against your body
and never, ever let you go

your going to miss my graduation
wont see me in cap and gown
I'm having a big party too
your face will be the only one missing

who will I visit after school
after church, after work?
who will visit me on my breaks
whose car will I look for in the parking lot?

what if you meet someone in St. Louis
what if shes prettier than me
what if I get used to you not being here
and do something stupid like I tend to do

what if when you come back
you're different
or I'm different
and then we're different

what if I need you
and you're not here
and I cant reach you
what will I do?

what if I call and you dont answer
text and you dont reply
wait and you dont call
I just might lose my mind

Babe,
I need you like a junkie needs coke
I'll miss you like someone on a diet misses chocolate
I love you like a bullemic loves to throw up