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[ you said you loved me ]

you said you loved me
but you didn't mean it
cause if you did
why would you do this to me

I'm crying these tears because of you
my heart is in a million peaces
and your the only one that can fix it



 

Author notes

just a quick little poem i wrote!!hope you like it!!

A contest entry

what do you really think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Folklor
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is Great! short and simple not mentioning tears but associating the feeling of being heart broken and describing a situation to the letter of when you would cry.
    a broken heart in 'a million pieces' and 'only you can fix it' great metaphorical imagery. I think you could have considered the picture or the quote a little more in depth and really dragged out possible images available to you.
    other than that for what it was it was a fantastic write keep it u