Philip was a quiet boy who didn’t have much to say,
he was told he was adopted on his twenty first birthday.
In a strange way he felt incomplete and often in his dreams
he felt lonely and isolated especially in his teens.
One day he met a pretty girl and at once they fell in love,
they were deliriously happy and thanked the lord above.
They had so much in common they were both adopted too,
they soon became inseparable as lovers often do.
They went everywhere together and vowed they’d never part,
their love for one another came from deep within the heart.
One day whilst in each others arms philip proposed to jill,
who gazed into his loving eyes and said of course I will.
Some time elapsed they set the date at the chapel down the lane,
and the vicar who gave them both a smile said “Come in out of the rain .They sat down in the vestry the vicar said for what it’s worth,
among other things I have to see’s your certificates of birth.
Neither one nor the other had seen them till this day
as in every household they’d been “safely locked away”
When later as the vicar spread them out,
looked at them twice as though in doubt.
Said "you’d both be commiting mortal sins don’t you know you both are twins."
Jill said “Love like ours just can’t be wrong we feel it in our hearts so strong."
Phil said "we don’t really need to wed, we can live and love together instead."
For our children’s sake we have an option, we can get our children through adoption,
And so they’ve been happy right to this day, with a boy and girl "Philip’s way.”
Author notes
..JUDMC
In a list
A contest entry
- forbidden love by hardwire.
450 points, ended May 17, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All Sorts of Options; prewrites welcome by DramaQueen469.
380 points, ended October 16, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovvvvve by fake-or-real-smile.
550 points, ended November 3, 2008, 50 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken or Forbidden Love **Edited by Unknowing....
430 points, ended February 4, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A call for good poems by Misunderstood-Teen.
800 points, ended August 26, 111 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES!! by LonelyAngel.
600 points, ended August 27, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest 1st come 1st serve by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended November 14, 407 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 72 of 72
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Nice poem, I really did like it, but not exactly what I wanted.
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Its so sad, and touching but ends so happily. It just goes to show that true love can be with anyone and it is such a strong bond that nobody wishes to break.
Best of luck,
Thanks.
xYx -
I loved this, I loved the way it rhymed I also loved the way the poem flowed and told a story at the same time, I love poems that do all of those. This poem was full of emotion and was well written, thank you so much for entering this poem into my contest
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I liked this piece.
it was really pretty and had great emotions and imagery in this. BRAVO! good luck in the contest.
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hey thanls this was a really thought provoking piece good luck in my comp thanks for entering
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U failed to read the rules of my contest and even the prompt for that matter. so plz dont be surprised when I do this........
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YouNobleIvory
If you had not been in so much of a bloody hurry to D.Q a perfectly
good poem and given me the chance to insert my name.You must be drunk with power.You are now on my ignore list. -
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i am sorry, I just got that from another poet. if u wish u may re post it with the change. I am sorry once again
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YouNobleIvory
Your appology accepted I will re submit my entry....George
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I'm sorry, but this does not fit the prompt at all, so I am removing it from my contest. If you would like to enter, please read the prompt.
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wow. this is very good, i really liked this. definitely forbidden love. thanx for ur entry. god luck
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Ummm... as a twin... creepy. Just...creepy...
Albeit an interesting idea. Well, If they can work it out, so be it.
Always,
V -
what option is this under?
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TheGreatestLove
As plainly stated Option no 2 Forbidden Love -
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option 2 in my contest is a title option.
and i have no such option as 'forbidden love'. -
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TheGreatestLove
Twisted Endings was the option for "Philip's Way" sorry I mislead
you.George ++++
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A very compelling poem to say the least thank you for sharing
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Oh wow, I'm speechless.
I read the title of this piece and wondered what it was about.
I actually really enjoyed this piece - people say it's wrong but if you don't know they're your sister or brother or blood related, how can falling in love be wrong.
I love the line:
"Jill said “Love like ours just can’t be wrong we feel it in our hearts so strong."
Well done on such an amazing write, thank you for entering and good luck.
Rebecca
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xBeCx
Many Thanks on your kind comments on"Philips Way" glad you like it
True Love will always find a way.Best Wishes Kindest Regards George !!
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amazing
aww, shiiittt,, i mean woow, this is pretty awesome and just , ah its breath taking REALLY! i just loved it..
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eleno
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Philip's Way" I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Best Wishes and Kindest Regards.George ++++
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GORGEOUS!!!
That's all I have to say, really. Except... I don't know if you've read the Sevenwaters trilogy, by Juliet Marillier? There's a quote in there that goes: "I spit on the laws of men, that tell us what we may and may not feel for each other". That's about incest - uncle/niece, I think. And this poem made me think of that. Which is a high compliment, coz it's one of my favourite books lol.
Well done and good luck!! -
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DramaQueen469
Many Thanks for your kind comments and the subsequent gold trophy award on "Philips Way" very much appreciated.I regret not having read Sevenwaters trilogy but thanks for the kind compliment you have bestowed upon me.I must read some of your work in return.Best Wishes and kindest regards George ++++
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this definatly has that twist, i love this, in my opionin this is how love should be. No matter who or what you are if you feel that love dont let others tell you you cant be together that its wrong or what not. great job.
I need you to place the option in you AN or i'll have to disqualify you. Please fix it.
Thank you for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! -
Well, I must admit, this poem was very interesting
The one thing I've noticed throughout this contest, is that I've received many entries that look at things in different perspectives, not often viewed in poetry.
I enjoy this peace, it's heartfelt and yet brings an odd smile to my face as well.
Thanks for entering. -
this isn't what I'm lookin for
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Jill said “Love like ours just can’t be wrong we feel it in our hearts so strong"
Phil said "we don’t really need to wed, we can live and love together instead."
For our children’s sake we have an option, we can get our children through adoption
And so they’ve been happy right to this day with a boy and girl "Philip’s way”
Haha! I really enjoyed those last few lines alot. Great job and good luck!
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The contest has ended and we (Dark and I) are now judging. Best of luck and thanks so much for entering.
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For Twisted Love Contest
Okay, this made me smile. It was kind of funny, in a cute loving way. That was some twist at the end. I like that instead of them having kids, they choose adoption. That's two responable people, Philip and Jill. Very impressive!
I like how this poem tells a little story of a boy who grew up not knowing where he belonged and found a girl, in the exact same position as him. That's how love really is like. You find someone that you can connect with. Then they fell in love, decided to get married, and had sort of a struggle in their relationship. Hence, the twist of them being twins. Thats some struggle, right there. However, their love for each other overcame the struggle and in their own way, made a happy ending. I like this story. It shows how love really is, in the twists, happiness, and all.
Also, it rhyme. Haha!
Twisty Points For:
- Making it rhyme.
- The creativity of the story.
- The actual twist in the story.
- Conveying a good picture of how love is.
- Making it funny.
- Making it somewhat sad, but with a happy ending.
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Wow i didnt see the end coming on this one this ones wayyy twisty. you built this story great. really enjoyed it! Can you please paste the original writing you based it on below the one you wrote and credit the original author so we can do a full judging on it. Sweaters is in charge of all twisty points.
WTG! Good luck in the contest -
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Darkwell
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Philips Way"
Glad you liked it.It is a product of MY imagination I am the original author as it is with every one of my "Story Poems" I do not need to credit anyone. I am having to repeat this fact every time one of my story poems is commented on Best Wishes George ++++ -
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oh i only said that cuz if you look at the contest you were suppose to take a existing love poem or song and rewrite it twisty an include the original below the twisted one. i assumed you did that. its still a killer write
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I usually don't like poems that just tell a story but this one was really good, thanks for entering!
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Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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I like the thought of this story, however I feel that emotion is lacking and that you are 'telling instead of showing' his story which takes away from the emotional strength of your write. THe rhyme seems a bit forced in places and the imagery is lacking as well.
I do appreciate your entry
Write on! -
this is a cute story. It shows both the ups and downs of adoption.
thans for entering. -
Well done
I like the story line and how it ended here. I got much amusement out of reading the comments.
One of my criteria for a good literary piece is if it causes emotions in the readers, this did indeed.
Buddy
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Although your poem is well written and poignant, I cannot accept the ending as it is. I can't imagine in any world a brother and sister in love and its being right. Thank you for your entry. Patricia
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pattyann4500
Thank you for your kind comments on "Philip's Way" I'm
sorry you didn't like the ending but at 83 I'm an old softy
and I try to have a happy ending on all my story poems.
in this poem the twins were deeply but innocently in love
and to condemn them to a life of unhappiness,I just couldn't do it,after all it's only a poem.Best Wishes Patricia and Kindest Regards George ++++
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Yes, it is only a poem. George, I love your work. I suppose it comes from a childhood that I care not to speak of that cannot allow me to accept your ending. In any other situation perhaps I could see the beauty of a love no matter what kind it is. Your work I adore, so I'll still read it reagaradless. I wish you well, Patricia
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pattyann4500
"Philip's Way:Thank you for your kind reply,I feel highly
honoured that you admire my work.If I have offended your
sensitivities in any way I am sorry.In my story poems I set
myself a problem, be it an injustice or predicament,and try to offer a solution with a happy ending.My latest is called "Jehovah's Nightmare" it is quite controversial but offers the only humanitarian solution to a recurring social
problem.Hope you like it.Best Wishes and kindest Regards
Patricia: George ++++
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Interesting...but I'm not sure how it fits in my contest. Maybe you could elaborate a little on how you think it fits? Feel free to message me, or I'll have to dq this.
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strangerforeigner
"Philip's Way" under the circumstances wasn't this both the emotional hard headed and sensible choice to make,
the only real objection would have been the procreation of children leading to possible malformations.Best Wishes
George
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So they were showing common sense by going ahead and living together?
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judyjudyjudy
re "Philips Way" it's only a poem but it seems to have
disturbed a few cobwebs in the cupboards of predudice.
let us suppose it was a true happening which you appear to
have done.the only "sin" they committed was not knowing
they were twins.They were at least considerable about
children,which royal families don't wnen they inter-marry
hence the number of imbeciles in history.How often has love
and common sense gone together They were deeply in love
twins always have a lot in common which probably drew them together.they couldn't live together legaly there was no other option.anyway does that help to answer your question.
Let me know what you think.Best Wishes George ++++
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I don't know why I phrased my comment as a question, which could be interpreted as disapproval.
I don't disapprove; they aren't hurting anyone by spending their lives together!
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lovely story.
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I think my gag reflex kicked in just a bit.....sorry lol. Um. This is certainly unconventional love, however it's not very ethereal sounding.
I think this'll take more thinking over...thanx for entering. -
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StroonsGreen
On "Philip's Way" I'm Sorry my poem doesnt sound ethereal,
then in my English dictionary it means "heavenly" "a subjective term" so what did you mean by this could you enlighten me please? Regards George -
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I meant it in the context, 'unearthly'
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_Yes_ Creativity / Originality
_No_ Imagery
_No_ Metaphor
_Yes_ Emotion
_Yes_ Reaction
_No_ Relatability
_No_ Fluency
_No_ Powerful Beginning
_No_ Powerful Middle
_Yes_ Powerful Ending
_No_ Connecting Ideas
_Yes_ Interesting Idea Behind Piece and/or a Message Behind Piece
_Yes_ Interesting In General (Does Not Bore) -
Wow. That is quite a story. Can you imagine! Thank you for a fine entry. Welcome to Winklings and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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this tells one hell of a story. I love all the twists and turns involved in this poem. great work on this one. I like it
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Wow... this really kept my attention, just waiting for what was going to happen next... it flowed so nicely and was such a pleasure to read! So unique!
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wow george this poem is brill..well done on your GOLD..xxx
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Jennyreb26thnc
Many thanks for your kind comments on "The Pit".Glad you liked it.Best Wishes George ++++ -
junepotter46
thanks for the "Congrats'on the gold for "Philip's Way"
June.Have a look at my latest "Ann's Dilemma" I think you'l like it Best Wishes George
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This is wonderful! The rhyming is excellent and the story just fantastic...congrats on the GOLD!!!
Az
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bandtee brunette
Many thanks for you kind comments on"Philips Way" Angi Teresa and Best Wishes George++++ -
hardwire
Many Thanks for your kind comments on"Philips Way"
Best Wishes to you and your sister George. -
azlyn
Many Thanks for your kind comments and congratulations on
"Philips Way". Glad you liked it. Best Wishes and Kind Regards George ++++
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thanx sooooooo much!!!!!
my first love's name was philip but he died before i could tell him how i feel. i decided to name my firstborn philip in his honor. thanx for entering this. if it's true....true love is all that matters. thank you so much for this.
p.s. i'm in love with my sister's boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Haha well that's an interesting poem you got there. I did not expect that they were related. Very good rhyme incorporation.
-Thank you for your entry, Angi Terese -
This is a wonderful story, it seems so real but I see by the comments that it isn't. I really enjoyed reading this. The imagery is awesome.
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daviscth
Many thanks for your kind comments on my seven poems they are very much appreciated.Best Wishes and kind regards
George ++++
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awww very sweet george..good luck in the contest..xxx
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judmc
lol ehhh but kinda cute.
did you mean 1st birthday instead of adopted on 21st birthday not quite understanding that. Nice write Dear Like it alot. Good luck with it
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RedwingSpirit
("Philip's Way") he was told on his 21st birthday that he was adopted LoL
glad you liked it.George
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Hi, thanks for this interesting entry. Is this based on someone you know or something?
It could do with a bit of tightening up from "safely locked away" - essentially the rhythm and the spelling/syntax.
Thanks! Best of luck
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Pretani
Sorry! forgot to mention I have rectified the errors in "Philip's Way" I hope you like it now Many Thanks George -
Pretani
Many thanks for your kind comments on "Philip's Way"
which is purely a product of my imagination like all the rest of the story poems I have Written. Every time I write one I am continually having to state this fact so Iam listing them all to save time and ink."Little Girl"
"Peter's Girl" "Blue Eyes" "Anna's Birthday" "The Pit"
"Little John" "Hit And Run" "The Racist""Tony's Pup"
"Ladies Of The Night" "The Twins "Values" "The Waife.
Best Wishes and Kind Regards George
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