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I Want An End

I want an end to constant heartthrobs
Broken promises
Shattered hearts
And lies.

I want to see myself clearly
As if in a crystal clear glass
I want to know
What I feel
When I feel it.
Is it true?
Is it right?
I want to know this tonight.

I want to see the world
Beyond this empty place,
To be a part
Of the life outside.
I want away from this place, and away from harm.

Please take my hand and hold it tight
Forget about all the things I’ve said.
I didn’t mean them
I love you so
Please just… don’t go.

I want you.
Of all things and people I want you,
Because you’re the only one who understands me
And the only one who can take me
Away from here
So far away
Please oh please show me the light of day.

I want an image change
I want to know that feeling.
Just take me away,
Please,
I want an end.

A contest entry

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • violetrose
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    A great piece! I love the repetition of "I want" at the beginning of each stanza. The last two stanzas are really awesome and something everyone can relate to. I especially like the lines

    Because you're the only one who understands me
    And the only one who can take me
    Away from here

    Thanks for entering the contest, and great job!

  • PoeticusVeritas gold member
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    A very good sweet poem Brittany. So many times we can feel so uplifted and then that person that has built you up so much pulls everything out from underneath you and your sitting there wondering what happened. And sometimes we make the mistake of pulling away from someone and we later realize this person meant so much more to us that we originally thought. But life moves on and we move on. Your really covered both bases in your poems.


  • Zork
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    I like the short lines, its kind of like the way I write. I dug it.


  • Cerbie20
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    yeah, i want the same thing... but its like that stupid saying goes... want what in one hand and shit in the other... see which one feels up faster... i always hope for the want, but i am sadly disappointed...
    well, enough of that.... i think that i am going to sit here and type for no reason to see if i can get lots of points... hmm... OH! these are the lines i loved the most...
    I want an end to constant heartthrobs
    Broken promises
    Shattered hearts
    And lies.

    I want to see myself clearly
    As if in a crystal clear glass
    I want to know
    What I feel
    When I feel it.
    Is it true?
    Is it right?
    I want to know this tonight

    good job! i loved it! now, i am done with this nonsence of random words... haha. and love the background... and i really did like the poem.

1 - 6 of 6