The clouds are drifting slowly through the sky
pushed gently by a warming southern breeze;
I'm standing at the palace of Versailles.
How sad it is that all that lives must die
like winter when the world begins to freeze;
the clouds are drifting slowly through the sky.
I'm haunted by a sad and lonely sigh
enveloped in the branches of the trees;
I'm standing at the palace of Versailles.
It took a lot to open her cold eye,
her royal wealth brought down upon its knees;
the clouds are drifting slowly through the sky.
A hungry crowd that roared to hear her cry
and who could stop them drowning out her pleas;
I'm standing at the palace of Versailles.
And now I'm left alone to wonder why,
emotions rolling like the distant seas.
The clouds are drifting slowly through the sky.
I'm standing at the palace of Versailles.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
veray nature feel like i enjoyed this i think you did a very great job with expressing yourself
-
This has a lovely haunting air, I tend to write free verse mainly so I'm not all that familiar with the different forms but I recognise this style and you do it service.
And now I'm left alone to wonder why,
emotions rolling like the distant seas.
The clouds are drifting slowly through the sky.
I'm standing at the palace of Versailles.
-
As the crow flies
One's sitting not too far from fair Versailles
emotions rolling like to distant seas
in 'fairy lands forlorn' to heeds her cry:
time hungry ... will she dare "the moment seize" ?
While clouds are drifting slowly through the sky
the seconds slip, "forget-me-not" seems tease
'to sleep, perchance to dream' role by-and-by
all play though we'd embrace eternities ...
-
Hi.
I dropped in to be sure you had carefully read the contest page (it's long, I know, but there are tips in that text that offer some important insight into what the judge--me--looks for with regard to quality in crafting a villanelle.)
There have also been messages that were sent out earlier to "all entrants", so it might be a good idea to look at the comments beneath some of the earlier entries and catch what's been said to everyone already.
Welcome aboard. -
oh... i really like this one. i'm so used to your sonnets and now the villanelles you have written just prove you are a master at form... you write a wonderful backdrop along with the storyline.
-
Lovely villanelle, the lines are strong enough to carry the refrain. The form complements the nature of the poem. Historically captivating to grasp a moment that stopped time for France.Their life style did not help economic problems enslaving the poor, while the rich got very rich. Lovely work and well written.
-
Very nice! I have not yet seen the new film about Maria Antoinette, have you? I think I may have to check it out, especially after reading this.
Very nicely done! Good luck in the contest.
-
a good piece, a steady beat and rhythm flowing all the way through, and educational too with the form presented.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
