Containers of life fill the back deck
Bringing color to an otherwise brown
Lifeless spot. Fresh planted trees drown
Of the rain from God that we beck.
Green runs rampant this time of year
Thanks to the fertilizers that we use.
Conscience of our environment, not to abuse
After a pass with the edger, the walkway is clear.
Always looking to improve upon
Whatever we can to feel that this is ours
This is something that we can be proud of.
Seems as if we would want to abandon the lawn
But instead we step out back and light a cigar
Thinking, “This place of mine, what’s not to love.”
A contest entry
- Recovery, Mentors, Butterflies, Spring by walkinthereign.
375 points, ended May 18, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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hehe, i like this piece. i liked the contrasts between lifeless spot and filling the deck, running rampant and not abusing, suits this time of year doesn't it.
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Hah! A great balance of awareness and satire makes this piece a good read. I love the images, especially at the end.
Content and form are well executed over all with just a little tweaking to take it to 'shine'.
I WOULD also suggest that you use low case letters at the beginning of each subsequent line that follows the first one. It would give this more of a 'wry' and relaxed polish.
Just my thoughts on it.
Otherwise, I think we need others to read this one. What do you think? I'll feature it for you on the showboard (Featured)to the right of your screen-------->
This way anyone can read it by just a 'click'.
I wish you the best and welcome to AllPoetry.
Warmly, CookieZeal/D
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