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an inverse eye is tethered

 
 
 
 
 
a careless eye
trusts every aspect
of colour,

 
except for the one
kept dark
behind its wire-
that knotted rope
held tautly sly
between our sight
and understanding.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Rowan gold member
    May 8

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    Oh, so clever, k. There are many people, who upon first sight seem to be all that they are, but I think everyone has secrets kept tightly knotted behind pupils. I have a thing for people not looking me in the eyes, like they're obviously hiding something. lol. Though I know, that even people that meet my gaze can also be hiding something, they're just better at it, lol, it just seems easier to take them at face value. This made me think.
    Obviously...


  • Naridill
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    I adore the first stanza - so much, I think my mind worked right past the final one a few times

    But finally, after reading it as one [yes, I got there] it has a remarkable after taste, the flow and such delicated metaphor. Beautiful and stunning.


  • Thanatos
    May 8

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    This is quite wonderful. It's full of thought provoking and sensational concepts. The last three lines end this poem very well indeed.

    kept dark behind its wire

    I really like that. It's very pleasing to the senses. I tend to think of wires as jagged and cutting, as well as something which entraps something. It's kind of like consciousness is "trapped" and "cut". I like that.

    Welcome to the finalists list.


  • Jaden silver member
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    Hey, very nice. Like this one a lot. Makes you think.


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    May 7

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    On Naruto, there is this one character, and part of what makes him so often is that he can see almost 360 degrees around him.

    His one weakness: The 1 degree on the back of his head that he can't see...

    There's always something we can't see, and that is always the thing that brings us down

    Liking this. Makes me think of our conversation today.




  • dehydrated
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    wow this obe is a bit bitter than what i have expected. hmm you have portrayed it well. love you sis.


  • Forever in his arms
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    wow. This sounds like something is behind this poem. Mabie something personal inside of yourself. I didnt quite understand it to the fullest, however I enjoy poems that leave my imagination to run wild. And this did so perfectly. I also enjoyed your choise of words. great job

1 - 7 of 7