Another Battle Within The War

I bare my flesh to the lash
To counter the rage beneath the surface
It takes me deep within
To the cells where doubt inducing demons reside
I stand naked before them
Wielding the sword of my own redemption
Taking thudding blows in penance
For sins against the self

I sip of the pain
As it transcendes the sting
Of being again forsaken
Though Ifa's words are not far behind
My rallying cry for strength
I keep silent to learn and heal
I must endure in deepest reflection

Exhaustion lifts it's trapping weight from me
As I am renewed by whispers of air
And the touch of leather against a back
That has carried much
I protect and serve
But repent for allowing myself
To fall into self abuse
Thus forgetting the love I held for my own being

The wolfess did not understand
There was a far greater reward in what she and other
Aided me in
Than the sound of screams
For I journeyed to my Hall of Judgement

My inner child faces me:
"What have you done?
No wraith are you!
No skeleton among ghosts!
Wake up to the voices
That summon you!
You have strayed from the path of wisdom
To avoid cutting your feet on clever sharp thorns!
Embrace the wild fire and cool peace that is you!
Do not hand your power to the highest bidder!"

White hot adrenaline wakes in my veins
My heart thunders
and a growling battle cry sounds in my spirit
Even as tears prick at my eyes
I must free myself again
From shackles now rusted
And turn them to ash

Twenty years this war has raged
Is it not time for it to be done?
I am all that I am
And no sorry thing is that
So why does my head hang low
When it should be raised high?
How have I failed?
Not at all, if only of myself

Enemies scratch at my door
But I shall be the tempest
That shakes them
They may take nothing else from me!
The time to sleep soundly
Without dark dreams is here
And the remembrance that: "That which yields is not always weak."

I take the threaded needle
And as each lash falls
I release my anger, my bitterness, my sorrow
And the pain that bent me
Repairing the damage that lurked within my heart
I bent but saved myself
Before I broke

I am pulled from my battle ground
From the empty husks that lie around my feet
Though some monsters still remain
And peace filters through me
A dull ache in my skin
Reminds me that my spirit is no longer
Too heavy for rest...