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Contradiction

 

 

Sweet sorrow take my empty hand

Lead me through this barren land

Subject my soul to misery

Of all that's left inside of me

 

A brittle spirit held within

An open heart always given

Strength to keep steady on the road

Inner child struggling with hurts to hold

 

A sensual being often mistaken

An intimate touch often forsaken

Smiles to soothe another's soul

Tears for never being whole

 

Confidence to embrace one and all

Insecurities that often cause a fall

Love complete in this heart I give

Terrors of it torn often relived

 

A contradiction in every sense

Walls put up as a defence

Yet always making through my way

To give this heart another day

 

 

Author notes

You asked "who am I?" ... this is my answer

Well... I want you to know I'm only putting this up cause you said you'd cry if I didn't... I don't feel like writing so it's hardly poetic genius... but so be it.... far too revealing...now, hurry up and judge the damn thing so I can delete it!! lol *runs and hides* heh

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 51 of 51

  • Cerulean gold member
    June 19

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    Nice portrait of struggle.

    hug*


  • CinfullyDelicious gold member
    May 31

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    very deep..and meaningful SiS, cause your revealing yourself within the words...


    This touched me

    hope you do well in the contest


    CIn

  • CinfullyDelicious gold member
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    very deep..and meaningful SiS, cause your revealing yourself within the words...


    This touched me

    hope you do well in the contest


    CIn

  • chiefmac
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely rhyme, easy flowing rhythm. Consistent ear to sound aspect works off the tongue. The subtle poetic technique carries the presentation on the page fresh images.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    The beauty of your words
    telling of self, enchant me.
    Learning of you is wonderful.
    The smiles, tears, joy and fears.
    Lay your words upon my heart
    as you rest your head softly on my chest.

    I love this.


  • Weltt gold member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    Revealing or not this was a terrific bit of poetry. I admire you for leaving your emotions so open upon the page. When I describe myself I always use crazy metaphors that don't make a whole lot of sense hoping no one will notice, so bravo to you for that. That being said, i loved your end line rhymes. I don't see a whole lot of that from you and it was very refreshing! Best wishes in the contest, I'm sure we'll see a trophy on this soon.


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      May 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks hun.. I used to only do rhyme lol.. last few months it's been freeverse.. I'm glad you enjoyed this! Indeed I am an open book...

  • xFlawlessBeautyx
    May 14

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    Wow! So compelling and powering! Your expressions are really brought out in this piece. Another fantastic write! Kudo's!!! Imagery and flow were perfect!

    + Jackie

  • darlintlc silver member
    May 14

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    I admire you for opening yourself up for others to see inside your soul...very hard thing too do.

    The old saying..."What doesn't kill you will make you stronger" is so true! People tell me I'm one of the strongest persons they know(after the things I've been through)but I'm not sure about that...sometimes I believe I'm already dead.

    Can't pick one favorite part I loved the whole poem.
    That's one of my prombles I can't decide what to decide! lol

    This took courage!!
    Best of luck in contest
    darlintlc


  • Lowercase Prelude gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    well penned. while this may be "far too revealing" it shows the truth in the life of a person, emotions and struggles and all. well done.


  • solo wisp gold member
    May 13

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    aww. Are we ever truly whole ... The end rhyme wasn't all that bad hon, in fact it flowed nicely to me. I know, I know, the content is what matters, I sense the struggle, guess I always have. The paradox in us is uncanny ... perhaps the answer lies in accepting those quirks with disregard of what others may think.

    Different spectrums we travel, but on the same wavelength.

    Steve


  • bella-babie
    May 13

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    Wow this was jam-packed, with harnessed emotions bursting from within your fragile soul. Always remember, through all of life's seemingly at times, impossible struggles.. there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You are a strong woman full of will-power to overcome any obstacle, and contradiction.

    This was very deep and intense, full of past pain- but within that pain there is beauty... beauty you have created with your words to make the reader

    feel...


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      May 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you love! I am an open book and all my past hurts are poured out here... but yes, I have strength and always continue forward.. even if at times I stumble

      Thank you so much for your kind words!

  • mysticstorm gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    And a wonderful you it is...hard to write about yourself and truly be honest...this is very well done and deeply touching, so very much of who you are...
    excellent work, dear sis...
    love


  • faderman1959
    May 11
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    A beautiful poem! Open, honest and straight from the heart. A rare thing to be treasured!


  • Valley Girl silver member
    May 9
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    Wow hun! Such a powerful write! You can not delete this! This is a great write! (hugs)


  • mds5158
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    Finding a way to make it through the times where someone or something is damaging your heart, without closing it off to the possibility of good things to come. A true expression about life, and as always, beautifully written. Great job.


  • moluv10 gold member
    May 9

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    I like how you expressed yourself in this great write. I hope you feel better soon. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    May 9

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    I think that's 99% of the battle. If our hearts close, life closes with it. If you have a minute, check out a poem of mine called Sing Your Heart Out. I think it's in the "inspiration" list. It's sort of along the same lines as this one.

    Take care,

    Mark

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    May 9
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    I was glad to see the last two lines because there's nothing worse than a poem that is full of pain but doesn't end on a positive note or seek an answer or way out somehow. i.e., wallowing in misery. lol This is a healthy way to look at the inevitable pain in life. Hope you win the contest.

    Mark


  • unsigned gold member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    So I continue on my journey of Jackie Ellis...poet supreme and heart so sad...the more I read Jacks the sadder I get. As you know me I am one that has the ability to stand up and say "this is what I want and no matter what anyone else thinks or says I am going to get it..."...I choose who I am going to love and who I am going to dedicate myself to...you know that {one of the very few people in thew world that ever will}..have the conviction to do the same? because if not you will never be truly happy and you deserve to be... Make a choice Jacks..look into your heart and do what you want...It was never easy to say what I said, and it hurt...but I am so glad I did....you should do the same and be happy in your life with the person you want to be with...you are my Sister...my friend...a person that I respect more than any...be happy Jacks...please!


  • crimsondew silver member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful dear..absolutely wonderful..you have put together yourself really well.I can actually relate to a few lines here, done so beautifully...Love you more for your honest spirit now..

    All the best in the contest!


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    May 8

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    Brilliant Jacks, with just the right touches of melancholy and soul. Best of luck in the contest dear.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • unmasked synergy
    May 7

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    but really what is poetic genious? lol
    I know this is beautiful
    and the contradictions make perfect sense too

    un.


  • Ravensdark gold member
    May 7

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    Flows really well, nice rhyme and rythme. Speaks volumes of pain, disenchantment and a tinge of desperate hope.....pontent imagery.....great poem


  • aboomer
    May 7

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    oops...already caught this one...lol
    but.....
    ....great write!

  • xsaphicxbutterflyx
    May 7
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    i like this write! the words are simple. =] haha.

  • angelicfaith silver member
    May 7
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    i love you mum all the way


  • Carolina Moon
    May 7

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    It will get better sweet lady, when down, there's no place to go but up. You have penned your heart out, and I can so well relate. Your words are always beautiful, don't delete it


    Linda


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 7

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    It sounds like you are having an 'off' day but never delete unless you're sure you really have to. It looks as though everyone else thinks it's fine...

    All the best...Sue

  • Bob Fox
    May 7

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    The defence

    I have read many of your fine writes & it seems you are always playing defence. I cannot say I blame you for wanting to be safe. But damn gal you have so much going for you. You are a great writter


  • KayJay46 gold member
    May 7

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    You post but want to take it down... contradicition indeed! From what I know of your beautiful heart, I think this is just perfect... Thank you for sharing yourself...
    Ken


  • LadyDementia gold member
    May 7

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    Well I am glad I finally made it back and caught this before it vanishes...Not that it should vanish cos its awesome A beautifully penned piece hun, so many will know these feelings, I know I do. Superbly done, good luck!


  • PerVirtuous gold member
    May 7

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    This is brilliant and sorrowfully joyful. I see it as a message of unwavering hope. Keep hoping, your dreams will come true.


  • aboomer
    May 7
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    I did one like this once...lol....I think we all can relate to this.....so many contradictions inside/outside. (great title). I think this was well done - it had great emotion and image to depict that internal conflict we all go through. And 'poetic genius'...guess that depends on the genius...LOL
    anyways, great write!
    best wishes in your contest.


  • midnite wolf silver member
    May 7

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    amazing

    don´t you dare delete it, this is an amzing write, full of honesty and so revealing about who you are and how you work as a person, a very deep write. *huggles* maybe its time to take a brick outta that wall so that you can see yourself in the mirror and realise you´re not really all that bad. tc hun x x x


  • Swangrnv
    May 7

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    woman you need to stop

    If you honor requests that are threatened with crying, then it's my turn to do just that! I want you to give yourself a break from the self pity and down right crazy talk about not writing anything good. This piece was EXCEPTIONAL! honest it was.


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      May 7
      Edit | Reply
      It didn't say it wasn't any good, just not poetic genius... it's more I can't be bothered writing lol

  • rbruce gold member
    May 7

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    Don't delete it. It means that I now know you just a little better than before. VERY well done. Keep writing, you have not finished yet.


  • buffsab99 silver member
    May 7

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    Excellent

    A contradiction in every sense
    Walls put up as a defence
    I can releate to this so much. I once wrote a poem about putting up walls to keep people out and being afraid to let others in. Great job with this, best of luck in this contest


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x Greeters member
    May 7

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    this is a powerful and absolutly wonderful write he will sure love this just because its deep and grasping. youhave put imagery into thios piece but you are amazing and ill keep telling you that


  • secberm
    May 7

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    Well done, sister. Like this lots. Love the feel. It sorta sings to me. Though I'm accustomed to singing cadence so I can march to this with a hundred other soldiers. LOL Write on and good luck. One.

    Dez


  • vanessa reen gold member
    May 7

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    This is absolutely wonderful. You doubt yourself too much. These words have flowed so wonderfully and the imagery is great. "A brittle spirit held within / An open heart always given". these are such lovey words. Well done and all the best in the contest.

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