No one, Not anymore

Once had the feeling of life
Once had the warmth of sun
Once had an overflow of love
All once before
But not anymore
I sit in this empty room
Plotting an unseen death
Escape from a world so cold
Escape from a wold that left me empty
Escape from a wold that watches me die
Slowly but surely I am
Withering and wilting
I want to press on
And be strong
But the weight of the world
Makes me feel so heavy
Makes my heart feel heavy
Makes everything in life harder
Brittle like thorns of a desert bush
Blood is what I want to see
Craving some pain to feel alive
Craving the warmth that once was
Craving a fight with the beast in me
My hands twitch
Itching to draw my own blood
At the slightest hint of my mental down-fall
There is no one here to stop me
No one cares if I cry in my sleep
No one cares if I scream in pain
No one cares if I live or die
Gone
Those arms are lost in the world
My hands are slowly starting to betray me
This thing I call my heart
Yerns annyoingly for understanding
I want it gone
I want it to die
I want it to be taken and never given back
All it does is keep me up at night
With false hope for the future
A future that was not meant for me