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Can Seasons Last Forever?

When you feel you are in the dead of winter
And all hope is gone, lost forever
Then out of no where you see the spring
As the flowers begin to take wing
You have a feeling of happiness as you fly
In a hurry the days seem to go by

You grasp it, wishing it would stay
But before long the seasons begin to change
You see spring slowly slip away
And you think "Can anything stay the same?
Can something, anything last forever?"

Author notes

option #5

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • thepoetsings
    July 15, 2008

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    Editorial comments:
    - line 3. "nowhere" is one word
    - This is just me being opinionated, but I would like to see more punctuation at line breaks. I just think it would help separate thoughts better.

    I think this piece might have worked better had you not tried to force it into rhyme - as it is, that just made it feel a little corny to me. (No offense, I promise!) I do really like the idea of this poem though, particularly the sentiment expressed in the last two lines. I know I went through a huge re-thinking of a lot of things recently, and those thoughts were certainly involved. Thanks for sharing and entering!


  • BellaD
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good poem. Happiness, like the seasons, seems to be short-lived...or at least not permanent. Thank you for your entry.


  • Yesterdays Memory
    July 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was a great poem I loved it a lot!! keep it up...


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's nice, just nice.


  • SEA angel gold member
    July 1, 2008

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    I've felt this

    Spring is so beautiful that my mind traces the flowers and sky and trees and all things spring to etch a forever memory. Alas I've never succeeded to duplicate the beauty in my memories' files. Some things are so beautiful that I think God wants us to get out every day to see and every winter hope to see spring again. This longing brings hope and lures us out into nature to find our true roots as part of nature ourselves.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem. I absolutely loved the shortness of it. It was wonderful & astonishingly written. Keep writing & thanks for entering <3


  • kavi22
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for all the wonderful comments. this is my first and favorite poem!


  • Angelflower
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a wonderful write!
    So much imagery! as well as bring some really heavy emotions out in the reader as the finish this piece.. I really loved this.. You did such a wonderful job.. I'm just amazed... Thank you very much for sharing.. Best of luck with you. I hope that this places!


    Angel


  • Midgetbridgey
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I will comment once the contest is nearly finished :) best of luck plx comment me :) -midgetbridgey


  • DawnKestrel
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    good luck in my contest!


  • CowboyFan1
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the entry


  • Condemd RyeZing
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thats sad. The rhythm was iffy in my opinion. Nice write though.


  • steal-my-scene
    May 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well that is sad. Like super sad. Well written though. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Two Pieces of Beard
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    welcome to allpoetry!!!

    Hello ,

    LOVE THE FORMAT I like when a person comes up with their own format, it makes the poem unique in my eyes..

    Great poem

    Lio
    Site Greeter


  • reckless abandon
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, but I'm jsut guessing that begain should be begin both times you said it. Because begain is not a word.

1 - 15 of 15