Lonely and forgotten,
The living cease to live
Seen as only rotten,
The world's lost its chance to give
It greets us with a smile,
We greet back by baring teeth
What it beholds is worth our while,
Still we decide to leave
The beauty is immense,
But there are no seeing eyes
The truth is loud and dense,
But still drowned out by lies
Open eyes and ears
Hear and see and feel
Feel what's oh so near
Feel what's really real
A contest entry
- Move me! Anything goes. by Temprance.
450 points, ended June 10, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Score 10
I love what this is about but first portion kind of has no feeling to it no flavor realy the only thing it does worded the way it is is set up the thought of the state of our world and how we view it (my interpertation) after that though the poem gets realy good exept for what may have been a typo.
"what it beholds is worth our while" decent line but if you changed behold to holds then the flow become significantly better and honestly what the planet beholds makes no sense, seeing as how what it would be seeing is the neglect and lack of care or comppassion the human race has on it.
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Hmm...I can certainly feel the emotion when reading this piece but...something is missing.
I rate it a 7.
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