an afternoon sun
whispers breeze
as we lie
naked
knotted bodies on a single sheet.
the sweat between us
cools and replenishes itself
over and over again.
while egg-shell shadows
still dance
in arcs and bridges
still heavy
in a thicket of yes
A contest entry
- Pre-write-a-pal-ooza by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 8, 2008, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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It is almost as if they never touched but instead had the description of what was supposed to have happened read to them and they agreed to make it the history they would live out of. For had they not sweat the sweat and understood the power of the moment and been ready to receive the togetherness it it were to happen on its own so they could claim to have willed it vicariously. Supine and deep in their own pooh. They winnie about it and pray that if they are agreeable it will be delivered along with the pizza.
As always your words seduce your readers and they see what they want to have happen rather then face up to what isn't. Circe, oh my Circe -- should I eat Lotus blossoms and lie at your feet and empty promise of all I would ...
Love, Tom B.
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sensual and seductive, a fantastic write indeed.
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wow, very sensual and expressive. Very full of love and passion.
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I really admire people who can conjure up a literal scene without using literal description, and that's exactly what you've done here. I also love 'a thicket of yes' - the word thicket is really original, yet really appropriate.
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