This house is echoing with the sound
Of footsteps walking out the door
When all’s quiet and silence screams
I’m left deafened by its cry.
Did you care when
You left your
Baby?
Author notes
This was going to be a for a contest but I decided not to enter it.
*Form contains 5-7 lines with
numbers of words(A Frame)
or
syllables (B frame)
in this line sequence:
1st - 9 syllables or words:
2nd - 8
3rd- 7-8
4th-6-7
5th- 3-4
(if 6-7 lines)
6- 2-3
7- 1-2
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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forgot as well...hahahah!!
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silence screams...what an impact that has..
i can feel the abandonment....
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I always forget applause. Sorry.
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I truly enjoy this entire work as a whole. When i think about it, this can be more than leaving a house. It can be leaving anything (that is at least the way that i view things). It conveys a symptom of emptiness. It almost makes me fearful.
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Oops...forget the applause!~
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A creative work of Excellence!
This is very moving..the picture and your imagery! It leaves one thinking of the reality of your write because we know it is happening more than we know! It leaves and eery feeling inside! Great write, sweetie!
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whoa!
such a nice poem i enjoyed it very much!
great work!!
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Wow... this was very emotional. I was shocked by the impact that I got after so few words. Great write!
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WOW!!! This write is so full of emotion. You said so much in a few short lines. Great job with this.
Crystal
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Wow, I am very impressed by this. Such vivid emotions. This part is awesome:
"When all’s quiet and silence screams
I’m left deafened by its cry."
You did a great job on this, and the picture adds so much. Very powerful write.
Blessings! :-)
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WOW
This is overflowing with emotion. That picture is enough to touch anyone when added to your words.
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