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I Saw A Hummingbird

I saw a hummingbird,
    I saw the wings flapping,
          like tornado's above daffodils

or was it a bumblebee...
    black and yellow zipping,
          zipping as if strobe lights

a restless wonder frenzied,
    without concern for talk,
          busy with pail, dipping into tulips

hovering beneath mist and rainbow,
    a hummingbird played in paints,
          pansies at its beak, looked like cups

like a leprechaun stumbling upon gold,
    a hummingbird was in my buttercups,
          moving through my garden, zipping all over

I saw a hummingbird,
    or was it a bumblebee...

a restless wonder frenzied,
    hovering beneath mist and rainbow

like a leprechaun,
    stumbling upon gold










Author notes

Prompt: A WALK IN YOUR GARDEN

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    May 18, 2008

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    Delightful...

    ...a pleasant walk, yet an inspiring journey in your garden.

    I like the format, the alliteration and the similes.

    Well done.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 12, 2008

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    Or was it a bumble bee? I loved this delightful meandering through your garden. Wonderful entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • frownsnfreckles
    May 11, 2008

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    oh! I really enjoyed this. I have never seen a humming bird, other than on television, it must be a wonderful sight! I do like the way you make the comparison with the bee and incorporate the rainbow with the pot of gold. Very original and liked the style.


  • CherylAnn
    May 7, 2008

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    A very beautiful picture you painted of the Garden you walk through.I love the hummingbirds as they were my Grandmothers favorite bird...Leave the bumblebee to work the magic of pollination...Yet the beauty is amazingly described here...
    Blessings
    With Great Joy
    ~CherylAnn~

  • Raggedee-Ann
    May 6, 2008

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    Beautiful

    A beautiful poem. Love the way it takes on the feel and frenzy of the subject, yet walks you through a tranquil place.

1 - 5 of 5