Creeping and crawling inside of your mind
Not wanting to be left in the dark behind
Bitter memories is all that's left of drugs
Good tripping left-overs, quirks and bugs
Ten feet small chasing a rabbit down a hole
Pure white blind justice a vision-seer mole
From reality of an opium smoking caterpillar
Getting wisdom of the chessboard filled her
Logic of proportion into having never mattered
Don't get the queen of hearts too flattered
Touch the mirror of bad luck and just jump to
Remember the drunken door-mouse flying through
As you can feed your head feed your head
Toss'n turn dreaming of falling out of bed
Wishing Alice wakes up before it gets ugly
From a brain full of mushrooms hazy and muggy
Visions of painting the dead roses bloody red
No colour will do so paint them black instead
Just sway in time to the music keeping beat
Escaping surrealism of melting clocks in heat
Of our over-stimulated brains with so much
Technology faux technology everywhere a crutch
Not a soul to think just drink to Absinthe
No need to worry about the wormwood nonsense
To be continued... feed your head feed your head
Dammit Janis Joplin's stuck up there instead
Sadness of a generation chasing rabbits
Torn by war and drugged up free-love habits
A voice richly laced with Southern Comfort
Building up so much anguish never to confront
Just stuck in our lives fearing abandonment
No time for sitting thinking how to lament
Because there will be another world disaster
So forget monks and let's get real... plastered
Backing away from reality's grim seeking reaping
As long as the poet's lyrics keep on seeping
Half-baked dreams trying to escape mushrooms
Swept from messy limitations by drugs' brooms
To tidy Alice's brains from silly imagination
Recite your lesson in half-stoned agitation
How does the little crooked crocodile
Improve his shining corporate censored tale
Pouring the waters of the evaporating Nile
On every golden scale as we sit and wail
Of injustice and retaliation of every nation
In the dark of twisted camps of concentration
Drink on good comrades and serve victory gin
In a mirror late for important dates so wear a grin
Strategy of chessboard war most preemptively
Smash clocks in bad trips and just feed your head
Author notes
giving props to Gonzo journalism for this lovely non-LSD nor Southern Comfort inspired splat of poetry tripping on Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit and hopefully keeping the meter from the song's rythym... weeeeee forget the American dream coz there's point in mentioning these bats... Poor bastard will see them soon enough
A contest entry
- Music Makes the Poetry Go 'Round by Silver Asylum.
600 points, ended May 10, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what the hell was I thinking? does it work as allegory and parable?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Some good lines.. interesting write.. a bit too wide of a perspective but good nonetheless.
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This is so excellent. I can see why you won gold for it, and I would give it to you as well. Congrats!!! hugs, Mum
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yep.. perfect with that song. it's funny because lately i've been thinking about writing a book or perhaps a series of poems about addiction. i guess it's the thought that i've actually quit some very bad, but very persuasive things for good and i still can't bear to think about them. makes my jaw ache in such a pleasant way just to think of them, that i wake up in the middle of the night saying "NO!" to myself. haha. no thinking. this felt like that. like talking a lot and telling the story to avoid having to sit quietly and think. to remember without drowning. what a talent.
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hmmmm yah
i didn't even really mean it to be such a statement against addictions, but more a metaphor against the media and censored gov't and here in lies the way to show it more obviously than just the title. you should totally giv'er on writing that series. i'd read it. whatcha mean by remember without drowning? thankies though. glad ya liked
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Amazing
Talk about a fantastic epic!
There aren't really as many lines as there are in most of the epics I'm used to but your use of words and the length of the sentences make it seem very long!
This piece holds a little bit of everything. Metaphors and such... reminds me of a fairy tale that was perhaps not told to the little children right before bedtime lol.
This is a really good piece. It comes off as very complex. Wonderful write! -
Well, it very metaphoric
I think. You've got a little bit of everything in this one. I've done a parody on "White Rabbit" (one of my fav songs) in memory of "My Fiesty Betta Sam" (that's a poem) and recently another one focusing on the white knight talking backwards which I haven't posted yet. It's like I say-to each their own insanity. So many I know would agree with you:
Of our over-stimulated brains with so much
Technology faux technology everywhere a crutch
Not a soul to think just drink to Absinthe
No need to worry about the wormwood nonsense
To be continued... feed your head feed your head
*bunny* Janis Joplin's stuck up there instead
Sadness of a generation chasing rabbits
Torn by war and drugged up free-love habits
A voice richly laced with Southern Comfort
Building up so much anguish never to confront
as well as with this part that struck me most:
How does the little crooked crocodile
Improve his shining corporate censored tale
Pouring the waters of the evaporating Nile
On every golden scale as we sit and wail
Of injustice and retaliation of every nation
In the dark of twisted camps of concentration
Drink on good comrades and serve victory gin
In a mirror late for important dates so wear a grin
Strategy of chessboard war most preemptively
Smash clocks in bad trips and just feed your head
I think you've got it all perfectly.
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"To tidy Alice's brains from silly imagination
Recite your lesson in half-stoned agitation
How does the little crooked crocodile
Improve his shining corporate censored tale
Pouring the waters of the evaporating Nile
On every golden scale as we sit and wail
Of injustice and retaliation of every nation"
My FAVORITE parts. Your words brought laughter and causes me to consider all the little meanings represented here. Wonderfully penned. The meaning and influence of the various "center-folds" diverge a little it seems, but you pull it all together again in the end. Well Wrote!
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too kind
shoulda mentioned that was warped from the original rhyme at the end of disney's version of alice in wonderland whatcha mean by center-folds? thankies though -
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: )
Oh, "centerfolds" was my way of saying all of the important points you made in such an interesting way.
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Wow
This poem was amazing. Alice in Wonderland is definately a favorite everything for me, lol, and how this included that theme, the song, and inner symbolism really impressed me. Absolutely wonderful write. Good luck in the contest
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hehe
glad you like it so and found the meanings, i was wondering if they came through in the references i was trying to make. glad you liked it
but yah it's an awesome book apparently that i'll get to one wonderland day. cheers and thanks again for the cool contest idea. woot for you!
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