APPLICATION FOR PARTNER
please fill in all information thoroughly, missing out no questions. If you do not know, either go with N/A or whichever is the closest application to you.
Part One - Basic Information
NAME::
SEXUALITY::
Gay male [end test here]
Gay female
Bi Male
Bi Female
Straight Male
Straight Female [end test here]
GENDER::
any other genders will not be accepted in this application, go away now!
Male
Female
Inbetween an operation going from female to male
Both
AGE::
if your age group is not mentioned, do not continue this test, I don't like you.
late teen (18-20)
unemployed-but-without-a-life-or-career-plan (20-29)
other [end test here unless you are going to turn 18 within a month, or you are going to turn 30 in a month!]
D.O.B::
(--)/(--)/198/9-
NATIONALITY::
If your nationality is not listed, stop reading this... it's not the right test for you. No hard feelings.
White British
Italian
Other [end test here]
RELIGIOUS VIEWS::
Athiest
Agnostic
Satanic [maybe can work with, as long as you don't sacrifice me]
Wiccan/Similar
Muslim [umm... end test here, please kindly...]
Other [end test here]
CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS
Married [end test here]
Co-habiting [continue if willing to terminate]
Single
Widowed [end test here]
Other - please elaborate
LIVING ARRANGEMENT::
At Home
With Parents
On the Streets [end test here]
Dorms/Campus [can work with...]
Other - give details, we can discuss options.
WEIGHT
Under 7 stone [end test here, can't deal with annorexia today]
7 stone 1 to 8 stone [I'll buy you some food and we'll see]
8 stone 1 to 10 stone
10 stone 1 to 11 stone [okay, maybe on the higher scale a tiny diet]
11 stone 1 to 13 stone [dieting in order, then we'll see]
13 stone 1 + [end test here]
HEIGHT
4''10' or less [end test here]
4''11' to 5''2'
5''3' to 5''10' [ideal!]
5''11' to 6''2'
6''3'' + [end test here]
EYE COLOUR::
Green
Blue
Brown
Hazel
Gray [boring!]
Black [eerie]
Other
HAIR COLOUR::
Natural Brown
Natural Blonde
Natural Black
Natural Red/Ginger [brave]
Highlights [also circle main hair colour]
Dyed Blonde [artifical dumbness, I like that! 007 material!]
Dyed Brown [True artifical intelligence eh?]
Dyed Black
Other - [no: green, blue, orange, purple or pink hair, unless streaks]
Part Two - Personality and Hobbies
PERSONALITY TRAITS - POSITIVE
please circle all that apply to you - note, these are qualities I like in a person... Tell the truth though, or I will beat you with an arsenic laced spoon!
fun loving expressive creative happy interesting unique free sensual romantic truthful loyal emotive empathic free-thinking gentle nature-loving passionate adaptive colourful approachable humourous[at right times] animal-loving tolerant patient sensetive available
PERSONALITY TRAITS - NEGATIVE
please circlae all that apply to you - note, these are qualities I dislike in a person... Tell the truth though, or I'll set my pet snake on venom mode!
pushy edgy abusive aggressive vulgar egotistical unfriendly impatient hurtful rough liar unfaithful apathetic communist thoughtless enviromentally unfriendly boring animal-hater intolerant easily angered avoidant
HOBBIES
circle all the hobbies you take interest in... in the 'other' section, name hobbies not listed.
Skiing
Scuba-Diving
Eating [THAT's a HOBBY?]
Wine Testing [Say alcoholic!]
Fencing
Martial Arts [Car Ratt e]
Watching TV [get a life]
Listening to Music
Playing Golf [zzzz...]
Football, Tennis, Cricket - any other ball game [it doesn't mean that you filthy pervert!]
Shopping
Fishing [do people still do that?]
Boating, Kayaking - other watersports [that pervert again!]
Reading
Going to Ballet/Opera [with your Butler or not]
Swimming
Cooking
Other - list any other hobbies including the unusual, unless it involves animals, locusts/iguanas, sand castles and superglue.
FAVOURITE COLOUR
can select up to 3 colours, but no more! Seriously now seriously, I know we all like our colours but if you select more than 3 I might actually have to rip your vocal cords out and sell them to a tiger circus for spare chips.
ALSO NOTE:: If the colour isn't there, add it to other! But don't be too specific like almond nut oiquische with brown tints, nobody likes a smart arse.
Brown
Blue
Black
Green
Gray [it's not even a friggin' colour]
Lilac
Orange
Purple
Red
White
Yellow
Other - please specify.
FAVOURITE ANIMALS
can choose 2 but no more... understood? Got it?! Got it?! Good.
Oh and if you are one of those smart arses mentioned, then yes technically a snake or spider is not an animal as such, but we are using them as the purpose of an animal, same with fish.
Cat
Dog
Hamster
Guinea Pig
Rat/Mouse
Ferret
Rabbit
Fish
Snake
Spider - or other aracnid
Stick insect - or other insect/critter
Zebra
Lion
Tiger
Bear
Zebra
Panda
Dolphin
Other - please specify
HEALTH
Very Healthy
Healthy
Very Unhealthy
Dead [end test here]
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP?
circle all that apply!
Sex
Friendship & Trust
Love
Someone to talk to [go to Samaritan's!]
A reason to leave my family's home
Money [don't expect any from me, you git!]
Other - please specify.
DO YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING
circle all those you participate in.
Picking your nose
Smelling your own earwax/bumfluff/belly button fluids
Eating your boogers
Licking the toilet bowl
Biting your nails
Eating your nails
Chewing your hair
Farting in public
Farting in public - loudly and vulgarly
Sneeze without catching the snot
Other - mention other annoying habits you may have!
Part Three - Answer these multiple choice questions as honestly as possible!
IF A GUY IN FRONT OF YOU DROPPED A £50/$50 NOTE AND DIDNT APPEAR TO NOTICE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
A. Run up to the guy and tell him that he dropped his note.
B. Run up to the guy and tell him he dropped his note, then go off with it.
C. Do nothing, just walk off and leave the money there.
D. Take the money - the guy probably has enough of it anyway if it goes without being noticed.
E. Take the money - it will be used for something good like feeding your kids, or buying the cat a new collar.
IMAGINE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP - YOU FIND OUT FROM ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOUR PARTNER HAS BEEN CHEATING ON YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO?
A. Confront your partner - tell them what you have heard and that you are deeply upset, probably crying and expressing deep loss of faith and understanding between the two of you.
B. Confront your partner - tell them that you can't believe that they have done this to you and that they could be so thoughtless and uncaring. After talking shed a few tears.
C. Confront your partner - smack him in the balls HARD.
D. Discuss with your friend what you should do about this; maybe shed a few tears, listen to a bit of advice from the friend.
E. Discuss with your friends how you can get revenge on your cruel and uncaring partner.
PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE YOU MORE AS
A. Curious
B. Caring
C. Honest
D. Fun-loving
E. Unique
I PREFER ____ GENRE OF MUSIC
A. Rap/R'n'B/Reggae
B. Pop/Chart/Dance
C. Soul/Choir/Opera
D. Ballad/Country 'n' Western/Classical
E. Rock/Heavy Metal/Grunge/Kerrang
Silver trophy winner
Adding your comment:
But wow, you've put so many great questions into this. Best of luck 
laurie
