a simple action -
slowly peeling an orange,
outside by moonlight
A contest entry
- 7000 HAIKU by DogFish.
1800 points, ended May 13, 2008, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Nice.
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This presents quite an interesting visual. I don't do Haiku well, but I know a good one when I read one. Excellent. ~Pamela
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simply beautiful - movement, scent/taste and moonlight.
Congratulations on the HM.
Marlene -
Very evocaive!
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Very evocaive!
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Tanka...
skyline star's acidic spritz
pock marked moon crater fascia
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thank you for the reply ... it completely rounds out that beautiful moment of experience. thanks.
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Beautiful image
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A simple action, perhaps, a simple poem, but touching an image deep inside.
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I much like the originality and completeness of this, even without its use as a metaphor, which gives it even more substance.
I haven't read many others in this contest yet and am not an expert with haiku, but this strikes me as being potentially a very worthy winner.
All the best, Sol
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The action here...is beautiful simply by the way you describe it. "Slowly". That entails thought, and deliberation. Wonderful my friend. Simply so.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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This is really good.
There are layers to this, I found more than one meaning. I really like that.
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