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Rest







she sleeps peaceful

the strands of ebony
that contrast with her
face follow its curvature
and reflect the quiet light
filtering through the window

and my hand-equivalent
goes to caress her expression
exhaustion even in rest
faint nocturnes ringing
through her dreams
awaiting the stirrings of dawn

yet it contacts nothing
and i must retreat
from her shivers










Author notes

Part III of the series: http://allpoetry.com/list/53035-When-the-Nocturne-Quiets

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • sailor ptolema
    June 30, 2008

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    oh my! loved this.....its chilling that this .... entity....is watching her....and so sad.....

    another great write! love this series...although I'mpretty sure I'm reading them totally out of order... opps

    ~S.P.


    • -BlackKnight- gold member
      June 30, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, I think you're reading them backwards. So, if you decide to read the first one, "Nocturne", that should help give you a better idea of what the series is about, and just who this entity is.

      Thank you for all the comments and praise, though. I'm glad to know you enjoy my scribblings.

      • sailor ptolema
        June 30, 2008
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        oh yes! just read the first

        i love the, like i said, otherworldly voice that you give the series, it stays consistent, which is impressive, and ....actually...I'm not sure if you're familiar with the show Dexter.....But for some reason...I feel that this should be read with his voice ....that's how I heard it when I read them

        • -BlackKnight- gold member
          June 30, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          I've heard of the show, but have not watched much of it. I do know what the main character's voice sounds like, though that's not the voice I have in mind when I write these.

          I replied to one of the comments on the first one with a link to a song I enjoy a great deal by one of my favorite bands. The song is called "Credence", and is by Opeth.

          http://media.putfile.com/Credence

          The guy can do a great death growl, but he can also sing beautifully. I have his voice in mind when I write these; the first one was meant more to be sung. The rest can be read or sung; it doesn't matter.

          Anyway, again, thank you for the comments; glad to know you enjoyed them all.

  • aiyana gold member
    June 9, 2008

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    Ok I read this.. we just are not the same type of poet.
    This is lovely.. to me it is cold. I am not about how many words I can use rather how many people can I reach.


    • -BlackKnight- gold member
      June 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It was written with a "cold" feeling in mind, so it's good that came across to you.

      If you're implying I write with the intention of using as many words as I can, or of clogging the poem up with lots of big words, that's just not the case.

      I write what feels natural to me, but try to stick to using simpler language to express deeper, underlying emotions.

      Thank you for the comment and applause, though; both are appreciated.

  • Simply Simple
    May 7, 2008

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    I should and will kick your butt so hard for not following my rules. I mean it. (Yes... I know who it is. I am amazingly smart like that. Okay so I just recognized the list...) Follow the rules mister! I mean it. You aren't exempt becase I know you. Rant over.

    Anyway, I liked this. It was much more interesting and thought provoking than much of what I have had entered. Nice work.
1 - 16 of 16