i walked through the village
with a knife in my hand
terrorising the people
of this native land
i played cards
with the other men
if they lose i would ,
sleep with their wives then
i sexed with the beggars
i went to the prostitute
i thought this was the ultimate pleasure
and there's no substitute
once i fell in love
i married her
that night she refused to do
so i raped her
the next day i was imprisoned
for a week
for killing a man ,
in there i was pale and weak
in the jail
i learned to drug
my companion exchanged syringes
we enjoyed that dizzy feeling
when i came out
i hit my chest
and shouted ,
i am the strongest
i fainted instantly
i was taken to the doctor
he said we had to do some tests
to find the real factor
when the results came
The doctor looked spell-bounded
'cause a disease like this
was still not founded !!
He said there was no cure
the only prevention is being pure
i still beat my breast
and said i was the strongest
we went from town to our village
the news had already spread
the villagers had gathered with knifes
to make me dead
they said they were scared ,
they said they wanted to live
they said they wanted us to go
they treated us so low
me , my child and my wife
left the place
covering our face
we stayed out of sight
came out only at night
i got fever , i felt cold
i had patches all over my body
i was feeling old
after a month
i knew these were my last days
but i had something to say
i went towards my village
the villagers gathered around
i said , " don't punish my family
for me"
"please let them live free"
i said as i fell to the ground
begging at the feet of the villagers
when a knife pierced into my heart
i died on the spot
my wife cried ,
you heartless villagers
how cruel you people are
you have behaved like animals
i thought even with the disease
for few more days he would live
you have spoilt it ,
she cremated me and said to my son
" Come lets go to a place where humans live "
A contest entry
- Will I Lose My Dignity (Will Someone Care?) by Ephemeral Twilight.
2000 points, ended May 14, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
how did you feel ?
Comments
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I too believe that the inconsistant rhyme took a bit away from the piece, but other than that it was quite wonderful. The man actually sounds a lot like Andrew, the main character who contracts AIDS in my musical. He's defiant and also feels invincible which is one reasaon why I liked this. I do love the way you create the character. You make him feel real. The way you went through the stages and causes of his illness was descriptive (which is a good thing, especially in this contest!) and not only did you speak of the physicalities of it, but the emotional aspects. Thank you very much.
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Wow. A very strong and convicting write you have here! I hope you win a gold trophy; it deserves it. Some stanzas didnt rhyme while others did, and it kinda bugged me
but a beautiful poem.
Spreading some love
miley


