Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Roll Of The Dice

Life is a game of the fun and the strange
with each roll of the dice we wait for the change.
Our thoughts and our prays we wait for the answer

Our fear and our doubts infecting like cancer

As we spin into the new
we gaze to dreams dismissed in blue
fight the fear and clutch them tight
Because your life may end tonight

Rise up tall and push the sky
the vibrant energy you can't deny
scream out loud and be counted

the limits will shatter if you want it.

 

*** 

 

 

Do you want to live your life wishing you lived it the way you wanted?

Author notes

Hey guys thanks for reading! This isn't finished just yet. I came up with the quote at the end a few days ago and wanted to write a poem to strenghten it. Any comments or suggestions would be helpful! Tell me what you think basically!

!Peace and good vibes!

~Avalin~

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Missy3
    May 26

    Edit | Reply

    So good, so good

    Avalin, I have lost my way and found myself among all these poets, yikes I've never even liked poetry, [they'll chuck me out if they see that] but now I've got nother one, poem I mean, it's gotta go somewhere?
    I'm like I walked into a room full of strangers and you don't know what they're all on about. Your comment cheered me up and I really do like the poem I read, if I didn't know I would have guessed IRISH gotta be. love

  • im so addictive
    May 18
    Edit | Reply
    its really good and thinks 4 your comment

  • poetes.maudits
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    One piece of advice that you will or might understand later on: stop writing for the rhyme scheme and start writing from your feeling.

    I few years back I was writing the exact brand of poetry. Looking back on it now- I don't like looking back.

  • obscenegesture
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    Couldn't help but think the whole background was ironically intented. This poem certainly has a lot of energy streaming through it! Hope you get to finish it someday, too. Great write!


  • jbbrandi
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautiful.
    I loved it.
    Awesome job.
    And you said it's not done, right? Well,then I can't wait to read more!


  • frownsnfreckles
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    perhaps in the 1st stanza it would read better
    '...we wait for the answer' to rhyme with 'cancer' as it seems to jar a little.
    The second stanza needs a little work without losing the content and the final one contains a brilliant message put over very positively.
    Once polished up a bit, it will be a great piece!

    . Rewarded 6


    • Avalin gold member
      May 6
      Edit | Reply
      yeah that does sound better for the first stanza! Thank you!

  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    such a true real life poem you words your rhymes roll like the dice as days roll by too
    i really want to hear more of this poem its great the way it is but anything the author adds will be just awesome
    love it loads

    . Rewarded 4

  • sunshinelowe
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    this poem mirrors my life. thank you for writing it.


  • CinfullyDelicious
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    A poem to strengthen a quote is a wonderful idea..this was a really uplifting, inspiring write

    the only one line that didn't feel like it worked for me was the very last one..i want to offer suggestions but they'd be crap cause it's 3am lol..will come bck after sleep and look again.

    Really mostly, I like it and like how its writtten out and the rhyming

    and
    Our thoughts and our prays we wait to be answered
    Our fear and our doubts infecting like cancer

    loved those lines the most for sure



    Cindy

    . Rewarded 8


  • Hate-And-Pain
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great piece i really liked it. And if it is yet to be completed then I'd like to know when it's done. But as i've said an amazing right and its true that life is like gambling...well done

    . Rewarded 4


  • a dozenglassroses
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    I totally agree instead of wishing for dreams we need to go after them. I have done that it is so awesome to make your dreams reality. And then you old dreams make new dreams as you continue to climb the ladder where some are stuck at the same point of the ladder their entire lives. great write awesome job.
  • JWGoethe
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent. Einstein once commented that "God does not roll dice." (Don't know what the relevance is here, but this poem brought that to mind.) "Scream out loud and be counted" is my favorite line.

    . Rewarded 4


    • Avalin gold member
      May 6
      Edit | Reply
      thats interesting! "God does not roll the dice" I guess thats kind of what i'm trying to get at! You make your own choices and set your own limits....hmmmm.. Thanks JWGoethe!
1 - 14 of 14