[ it starts off small and grey ]

it starts off small and grey
the promise that a new day will dawn
the unspoken tales ,hidden in tears
forever forgotten raveshing the very essence
of the pain lurking under the mask of our fears
heat crawling from every pore
a desperate struggle to release me from the grip
of loves cruelest jaws, though however alone i stay
and  whatever words come spilling from these crimson lips
that are always saturated in lies and laced perfectly with the scent of love
i have fallen from the above and love drags me down never again
to get back up but never ever to be able to sleep kept always awake
itching with a crave for your silken touch slowly slipping into the ash hands
of insomnia and the breath of everything you said fills the very room
i smoke ciggaretes that go out too soon ,
and im wondering why the good things never last
the last kiss still lingers softly on my trembling lips
i lay my head down tears rebel against the tear ducts
and everything ive kept bottled up,
rushes up like vomit and comes spilling from my heart
and i wonder why i let myself get so carried away
but your hand print still remains , on my hips threatening to  drag me away
and the smell of you
rests like you where there right there within reach , right on my pillow
though  yes i know my head knows no better i start to smile as i see you smiling softly
bathed in the yellow light drifting down in soft beams through my window
the image picks me up and turns me around
i wish you where there resting beside me on the spare pillow
i wake up desperate trying to find you between my covers
i close my eyes but your inside my mind so you hover between
whats wrong and whats right
though i know its wrong and that your gone i want to go where you have gone
even if i am not wanted
i want you to come home
into my open arms and there i want you to stay
should i give you a reason to stay but if my reason is bad
will you go away once again, why wont you stay?
i dont think my heart could withstand another blow
it will take just a tiny look of goodbye to shove me down
six feet below  i realise with a shudder in the blackest of rooms
as i wake from a dream screaming
screaming for you
what i realise took so long in the making
its a revelation so huge its got me shivering and shaking
that you died and have gone far away
but i would give up my life just to hold you for a moment today.