Filling the empty space,
With things other than ((that)),
Find something to cure this ailment, they call ((this)),
Help me now ((I scream, silently)).
Broken mirrors,
Shattered remains sprinkled around ((my toilet bowl)) like confetti,
Congratulating me for the things I’ve done,
And the things I will do.
Lies, scars and skeletons,
Left to ((plague)) me,
Like a boomerang,
I hear a whisper,
“I’m back now.”
Hiding the pain ((in my oversized jacket)),
I walk down the road,
((all alone)),
Thinking to myself ((that it’s too late)).
((“But it’s not too late, it’s never too late.”)) Plays on the radio from a passing car.
((Tears)) well up in my eyes,
I might feel ((alone)), but I’m not.
I woke up today feeling like ((shit))
But I’m going to sleep feeling ((full)).
Author notes
Umm. I don't know.
((*word*)) <-- these are changeable.. like 'put in your own problem'.
I think, like I said before.. I really don't know.
A contest entry
- Need Motivation... (overcoming an eating disorder) by HeartbreakHeroine-x.
950 points, ended May 20, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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You don't have to ((know)) i'll tell you, this is amazing. I love it just the way it is, the words in parentheses make it all the more dynamic, and i think the words that are there fit perfectly for the poem.
The last stanza is my favorite, with the realization that comes daily that we aren't alone, no matter how much it feels that we are....
You officially just made my favorites list
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Ah nice.
The last 2 lines were the best.
Great job,
-Mandi
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your really good keep it up :]
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wow awesome! Its scary yet great! You can really learn about the person being talked about in the poem. good job!
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great poem it was amazing i wish i had more time to comment on it but i have to go! but it was a wonderful write!!!
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I woke up today feeling like ((shit))
But I’m going to sleep feeling ((full)).
♥
that was my favorite line
Dead Star--x -
awesome.
"Lies, scars and skeletons," your word usage is absolutely beautiful.
lol--I liked the usage of a certain Three Days Grace song that we all know and love
the dp was done well, but not overdone-- the parenthesis were very effective, I thought. What really makes this poem amazing, though, is the amount of emotion-- uncertainty -- doubt-- pain-- maybe even self-loathing-- etc that you've packed into these words.
one critique is the ending--you seem to come to a conclusion, but it's not very clear. Do you decide at the end of the piece to eat? Or eat / but you'll purge later? It didn't detract much (maybe at all) from the piece as a whole, but it's still something to think about.
Well done...
~QoA -
"Lies, scars and skeletons," your word usage is absolutely beautiful.
lol--I liked the usage of a certain Three Days Grace song that we all know and love
the dp was done well, but not overdone-- the parenthesis were very effective, I thought. What really makes this poem amazing, though, is the amount of emotion-- uncertainty -- doubt-- pain-- maybe even self-loathing-- etc that you've packed into these words.
one critique is the ending--you seem to come to a conclusion, but it's not very clear. Do you decide at the end of the piece to eat? Or eat / but you'll purge later? It didn't detract much (maybe at all) from the piece as a whole, but it's still something to think about.
Well done...
~QoA -
hmmmm I liked the poem I think it was written well, maybe a few minor changes but nothing major I noticed nice work and keep writing
Turtle -
I don't know about these ((words)) but I guess
there's nothing wrong with applying a few dirty pretty.
I find this piece, hmm, well written
and the lines were written fittingly.
A nice write for its straightforward simplicity;
good luck in the contest! -
This is really nicely written.
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