moonlight twinkled held me tight
each sunset brought a brand new night
each night held dreams of something new
and with each star I'd wish for you
something different in your eyes
with each smile you send butterflies
wrapped in lace with bows and such
please share with me your gentle touch
a heart that grows can beat and dance
with just a simple sideways glance
fingertips explore new dreams
you're better then you ever seemed
tender kisses placed and savored
you sweet boy are a brand new flavor
something I can't bare to lose
a risk I know that I will choose
nothing can compare to you
something old or something new
I'll never stop to take a breath
in seconds there could be nothing left
midnight haunts with charmed delight
you bring to me a whole new light
a fire that will burn and glow
you're here for now, I won't let you go.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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this is lovely. what a brilliant way to capture that time when you're falling, hard and fast. there's nothing like that feeling, and you capture it well. as for tough spots, i really didn;t see any, except for maybe in the second to last verse, it could be "in seconds there could be nothing left" instead of "in a second there could be nothing left" when i read it it just seemed like maye there was an extra syllable there. could just be me though. great write!
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Wow. This is like crazy good!
If I were to change anything, it would be to capitalize because it makes it look a little sloppy without, but this has no effect on reading the poem.
Again, this is really good, and haunting. Great job!
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...*gobsmacked*
...Amazing... nothing wrong with that at all the way it is written just freaks me out but in a good way that should've been published the mo u finished it!
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This is a very sweet and touching poem. The only thing I believe it needs is mopre punctuation. It will help the flow a little better, other than having the reader read straight without taking a breath. Its soft gentle and sweet, great job!!!
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Great!!!
I can totally relate. Return the favor? -
Nice flow .Really sweet poem.Keep it up !
Sometimes i feel like I'm haunted by midnight too ,anyway your poem is good.
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Beautiful
that is so wonderful, it says so much while being quite, if that makes sense, good luck with him may he bring you happiness
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Beautifully written.
as the verdict says above^^ thank you for sharing =) and what an awesome job
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awwww... this is sooo sweet!!! lol. hope he likes you back as well! cuz it looks like u like him so much! anyway, this poem is really a great write. i really like it.
"midnight haunts me, with charmed delight"
that ma favourite line! ^^
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